IMing to the Maximum! Ride, of course
by Vera Amber
Summary: A funny chat between the Flock and associated characters. Ran-dom! Rated T because of paranoia, cursing, and kissing. Ooh, lookie, it's a cliche! Fax.
1. C1:I think concussion! Can I try it?

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or the Maximum Ride series; they belong to James Patterson, who, I might add, isn't me. The only thing I do own is Mystery Character (you'll find out who s/he is later).**

**Just so you know:**

Angel - AngelicMindReader

Gazzy - WhatsThatSmell

Nudge - MsMakesUrEarsBleed

Iggy - MrBlowsStuffUp

Fang - SilentStalker

Max - SayonaraSuckers

Total - BetterThanCeleste

Ella - HalfSista

Dr Martinez - MyChocoChipCookiesRock

James Patterson - IveMadeMillionsFromYouGuys

The Voice - ImInMaxsHead

Mystery Character - FunkyIsCool

_Chatroom has been created_

_SayonaraSuckers has joined chatroom_

_AngelicMindReader has joined chatroom_

_MsMakesUrEarsBleed has joined chatroom_

_WhatsThatSmell has joined chatroom_

_MrBlowsStuffUp has joined chatroom_

_SilentStalker has joined chatroom_

MsMakesUrEarsBleed - Hiiiiiii every1!

AngelicMindReader - Hiii Nudge!

SayonaraSuckers - Hiiiii Nudge & Angel!

MsMakesUrEarsBleed - what up evry1? nothing here, im just IMing u guys! hey Angel, have u seen my pink nail polish? its all sparkly &-

*BANG*

MrBlowsStuffUp - wht was tht!?

WhatsThatSmell - *ears bleeding* Nudge being pushed out of her chair

SayonaraSuckers - Gazzy!

MrBlowsStuffUp - *ears bleeding* thanx Gazzy

SayonaraSuckers - Iggy!

AngelicMindReader - brb

_AngelMindReader goes into Away mode_

SilentStalker - *ears bleeding* ill appreciate u 4 yrs Gazzy

SayonaraSuckers - U R TAKING THEIR SIDE!?

SilentStalker - no

SayonaraSuckers - I DON'T BELIEVE U!

SayonaraSuckers - COME HERE U... MEAN2NUDGE GUY!

_SayonaraSuckers has left the chatroom to give pursuit_

_SilentStalker has left the chatroom to evade Max_

_AngelicMindReader has returned from Away mode_

AngelicMindReader - what did I miss?

WhatsThatSmell - Fang said hed take our side & Max went 2 chase him

MsMakesUrEarsBleed - i think concussion

WhatsThatSmell - how can u think concussion? can u teach me?

_WhatsThatSmell has been forced out of chatroom_

_BetterThanCeleste has joined chatroom_

AngelicMindReader - u don't have a concussion, u r just dersortented

MyBlowsStuffUp - u mean disoriented?

AngelicMindReader - yeah, that

_MsMakesYourEarsBleed has left the chatroom because Angel no believe_

_AngelicMindReader has left the chatroom to chase after Nudge and aplogigize_

BetterThanCeleste - i dont hav a concussion!

MrBlowsStuffUp - Total! how did u get a computer!? Max would never let u get 1

BetterThanCeleste - i have my ways

_BetterThanCeleste has left the chatroom to evade more questioning_

_ImInMaxsHead has joined the chatroom_

ImInMaxsHead - Good day to you Iggy

MrBlowsStuffUp - AHHHHHHHH!!!!! *throws computer out window*

_MrBlowsStuffUp has left chatroom due to the unfortunate circumstance of a computer crash_

ImInMaxsHead - He threw his computer out the window? What is wrong with them!?

_ImInMaxsHead has left the chatroom_

_Chatroom has closed_

**This is my first fanfic ever... Okay, so I need some input, criticism, whatever. Do you like the first chapter? What don't you like about it? Should I change anything? Any suggestions? Comments? Random thoughts? Does it not make sense? I need input! And you know how to give me input? Review! You'll get some choco chip cookies! *holds plate tantalizingly in front of readers' faces* C'mon now, it's not that hard! :) And I do need some suggestions.**

**(EDIT: I went back and editting this chapter some... mainly getting rid of the apostrophes and capital letters, which is normally a bad thing, but is actually a good thing in an IMing fic... hehe...**

**The other chapters haven't been editted yet, though, so they're still... _off_.****)**


	2. C2:Max doesn't like lattes!

**Every time the number of reviews reaches ten more, (meaning when it hits 10, 20, 30, etc), I'll change the screennames of the characters. If you'd like to suggest some names, review or PM me. This chapter has a little Ezzy in it... but that's Max's fault. ;)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or the Maximum Ride series; they belong to James Patterson, who, I might add, isn't me. The only thing I do own is Mystery Character (you'll find out who she/he is later).**

**Just so you know:**

Angel - AngelicMindReader

Gazzy - WhatsThatSmell

Nudge - MsMakesUrEarsBleed

Iggy - MrBlowsStuffUp

Fang - SilentStalker

Max - SayonaraSuckers

Total - BetterThanCeleste

Ella - HalfSista

Dr Martinez - MyChocoChipCookiesRock

James Patterson - IveMadeMillionsFromYouGuys

The Voice - ImInMaxsHead

Mystery Character - FunkyIsCool

_Chatroom has been created_

_AngelicMindReader has joined the chatroom_

_BetterThanCeleste has joined the chatroom_

_HalfSista has joined the chatroom_

_FunkyIsCool has joined the chatroom_

AngelicMindReader - Is the plan in place?

HalfSista - It's working better then we expected. Max, Fang, & Iggy r going 2 fall right into it.

AngelicMindReader - Good. Total, is it in place?

BetterThanCeleste - Exactly where it should b

AngelicMindReader - *grins evilly* Myst, is every1 accounted 4?

FunkyIsCool - Gazzy & Nudge r ready & waiting. Dr M is nowhere 2 b found.

AngelicMindReader - Perfect. Let's c how they like our little 'surprise'

_HalfSista has left the chatroom_

_BetterThanCeleste has left the chatroom_

AngelicMindReader - Do they know about out _real_ plan?

FunkyIsCool - Not yet

AngelicMindReader - *cackles evilly*

_FunkyIsCool has left the chatroom to evade Angel's cackelling_** (A/N: I know it's not a word! But you understand what I mean, dontcha?)**

_WhatThatSmell has joined the chatroom_

_MsMakesUrEarsBleed has joined the chatroom_

AngelicMindReader - Welcome. Ready?

MsMakesUrEarsBleed - Ready. U still haven't seen my pink nail polish, tho, & it's really pretty & sparkly & all...

WhatsThatSmell - Ready. They'll never expect this

AngelicMindReader - Get 2 ur positions; improvise is necessary

_MsMakesUrEarsBleed has left the chatroom get into position_

_WhatsThatSmell has left the chatroom to get into position_

_AngelicMindReader has left the chatroom_

_Chatroom has closed_

~Front yard of Dr Martinez's house - Max's POV~

Fang, Iggy, and I landed after flying around for a bit. (The problem about Nudge had already been resolved.) Unfortunately for Iggy, he landed in a birth bath. I cracked up when I saw that, "Iggy! Are you trying to give two-percent of yourself a bath?" That made me laugh even harder.

I suddenly slipped, and landing, FWAK, on my... let's say butt for the time being, shall we? Then Fang let out a chuckle. He actually chuckled! "FANG!" I yelled at him.

Out of nowhere something with wings hit Fang full on.

~Small grove of trees near Dr Martinez's house - Angel's POV~

Everything was going perfect: Iggy has landed in the birdbath, just like I'd told him to; Max slipped on the banana peel; Gazzy knocked Fang over; but there was one, small problem. Total and Nudge were nowhere to be found. Total was supposed to come lick Iggy's face, and Nudge was supposed to run and get Gazzy. I wonder where they are...

***

_Chatroom has been created_

_MsMakesUrEarsBleed has joined the chatroom_

_WhatsThatSmell has joined chatroom_

MsMakesUrEarsBleed - Angel said we could improvise if necessary...

WhatsThatSmell - Yes, she did

MsMakesUrEarsBleed - We don't have much time b4 she realizes that that was Total who ran into Fang, so let's get started. I grab Angel u grab Total & hair?

WhatsThatSmell - Deal. What about Myst?

MsMakesUrEarsBleed - Myst can take care of herself... Let's go

_MsMakesUrEarsBleed has left the chatroom_

_WhatsThatSmell has left the chatroom_

~Front yard of Dr Martinez's house - Max's POV~

"FANG!" I shouted. I turned around to look at him lying on the ground. There was something black and fluffy on top of him... "Total!" I scolded right when someone yanked my hair, grabbed Total, and took off like a rocket, a rocket named Gazzy. "Gazzy!" I reprimanded. It seems I was shouting everyone's name.

I saw something blurry out of the corner of my eye. I looked over and saw a kid with wings diving towards the grove of trees. It had to either be Nudge or Angel, but Angel didn't have tawny wings. "NUDGE!" I yelled. Once again, someone's first name. Then I saw Nudge rise out of the forest carrying something...

***

_Chatroom has been created_

_SayonaraSuckers has joined the chatroom_

_SilentStalker has joined the chatroom_

_MrBlowsStuffUp has joined chatroom_

_MsMakesUrEarsBleed has joined chatroom_

_WhatsThatSmell has joined chatroom_

_AngelicMindReader has joined chatroom_

_BetterThanCeleste has joined chatroom_

_HalfSista has joined chatroom_

SayonaraSuckers - Can any of u tell me what happened earlier today? & y Ella is here?

SilentStalker - Yes, xplain who came up with this evil... plan

MrBlowsStuffUp - Angel blackmailed me into landing in the birdbath... that's all I know

MsMakesUrEarsBleed - Angel made this plan 2 embarrass the 3 of u, but then she had a side plan 4 me & Gazzy 2 embarrass Total & Ella, so I'm betting she had a side plan 2 have Total & Ella embarrass us so she could get a laugh out of it, but she said we could 'improvise if necessary' so we decided 2 embarrass her, 2

AngelicMindReader - NUDGE! I THOT WE WERE GOING 2 KEEP THE PLAN SECRET! Y, I'M GOING 2... NUDGE U OFF A CLIFF! & HOW DARE U IMPROVISE WHEN _NOT_ NECESSARY!

MsMakesUrEarsBleed - That wouldn't do anything... I can fly u know

SayonaraSuckers - That only answers half of my question. Erm... one of them I mean

WhatsThatSmell - Exactly what Nudge said, I mean what she said b4 she said she can, but I agree with that 2, but there was a bit more... u c, Angel decided that she wanted 2 give u guys payback 4... **(A/N: Evil mini-cliffie! *grins evilly, in imitation of Angel*)**

~Small grove of trees near DR Martinez's house - Angel's POV **(A/N: Sorry if you don't like me switching between just Angel's and Max's POV... but they're the main characters in this chapter... if you want me to use any particular character's POV, review or PM me)~**

...Well they're right there! As I watched, Gazzy dived, yanked Max's hair, and grabbed... wait... that's supposed to Gazzy! Not Total! Why I'm going to... my rant was cut short by someone grabbing me by the shoulders. "HEY!" I shouted angrily. I looked up and saw Nudge, "NUDGE! LET ME GO! NOW! NUDGE! OR ELSE!" I yelled just as angrily, but with a touch of... well truthfully surprise. Nudge lifted me up out of the forest, flew my over to Dr Martinez's yard, and dropped me... right into the birth bath.

~Dr Martinez's front yard - Max's POV~

...something that looked quite a lot like Angel. "ANGEL!" I screamed, but they didn't hear me. Nudge flew over to the yard, and then dropped Angel. "ANGEL!" I screamed even louder. Funnily enough, Angel landing in the bird bath. Iggy yelled at her, "Here to give the other ninety-eight percent a bath!?" Even though he hadn't seen Angel falling, he would've heard the splash, and me yelling 'Angel'.

That just cracked me up. Even though I was worried for my little Angel, this was just as hilarious as when Iggy landed in the bird bath. And when Fang was knocked over.

***

WhatsThatSmell - ...making her get a haircut

AngelicMindReader - GAZZY! I'M GOING 2-

*CRASH*

SayonaraSuckers - I CAN'T BELIEVE U FEEL THAT WAY ANGEL! U R THE 1 THAT WANTED 2 GET A HAIRCUT IN THE 1ST PLACE!

MrBlowsStuffUp - What was that!?

MsMakesUrEarsBleed - *pants* me tackling Angel so she couldn't finish her threat

SilentStalker - I suggest u hide Nudge, b4 Max tackles u

SayonaraSuckers - I'd rather Angel b tackled than threaten

HalfSista - U wanted 2 know y I'm here, right?

SayonaraSuckers - ye-

MsMakesUrEarsBleed - LET'S PLAY A GAME OF TRUTH OR DARE!

AngelicMindReader - GREAT IDEA!

MsMakesUrEarsBleed - MY TURN! Hm... Fang, truth or dare?

SilentStalker - Dare

MsMakesUrEarsBleed - I dare u 2... dye ur hair orange!

SilentStalker - WHAT!? I NEVER SAID I'D DO THAT!

AngelicMindReader - DO IT! DO IT!

MsMakesUrEarsBleed - DO IT! DO IT!

HalfSista - DO IT! DO IT!

SayonaraSuckers - DO IT! DO IT!

SilentStalker - *sigh*

_SilentStalker has left the chatroom to dye hair orange_

WhatsThatSmell - I can't wait 4 this!

AngelicMindReader - Ella! Get the camera! Quick!

_HalfSista has left the chatroom to take pics of Fang... with orange hair_

SayonaraSuckers - This'll b funnier than when Total knocked Fang over!

_SilentStalker has joined the chatroom_

_HalfSista has joined the chatroom_

SilentStalker - There. Happy now?

MsMakesUrEarsBleed - U LOOK HILARIOUS!!!! LOL!!!

HalfSista - Hold still Fang, I can't take any pics if u r moving constantly!

WhatsThatSmell - AWESOME! HAHA!!!

SayonaraSuckers - *is silent bc can't breath from laughter* rofl!!!!!!!

SilentStalker - My turn *grins evilly*

HalfSista - Uh-oh

SilentStalker - Max, truth or dare?

SayonaraSuckers - *still laughing* truth

SilentStalker - What EXACTLY were u thinking when Nudge dropped Angel into the bird bath?

SayonaraSuckers - I MEAN DARE!!!!

SilentStalker - 2 latte

MrBlowsStuffUp - 2 latte? Max doesn't like lattes!

SayonaraSuckers - Fine. I was thinking "That's funnier than when Iggy landed in the bird bath! I know I should b worried 4 my little Angel, but... that's hilarious!"

MsMakesUrEarsBleed - *awkward silence*

AngelicMindReader - I CAN'T BELIEVE U MAX!!!!

SayonaraScukers - *ignores Angel* My turn... Ella, truth or dare?

HalfSista - Dare

SayonaraSuckers - Ella, I dare u 2... kiss Gazzy! On the lips!

HalfSista - WHAT!?

WhatsThatSmell - WHAT!?

HalfSista - I guess I have 2, don't I...

_HalfSista has left chatroom 2 kiss Gazzy_

MsMakesUrEarsBleed - Quick! Hand me the camera!

MrBlowsStuffUp - I can't wait 2 c... oh wait, I can't c

*SMOOCH*

_HalfSista has joined chatroom_

HalfSista - THERE! TOTALLY GROSS, BUT THERE! My turn... Total, truth or dare?

*General murmurs of 'Total's here? How did he get a computer?'*

BetterThanCeleste - Truth

HalfSista - When r u going 2 propose 2 Akila?

BetterThanCeleste - Uh... um... erm... I pl- wait... no... um...

AngelicMindReader - U have 2 answer Total *giggles quietly*

BetterThanCeleste - I plan on doing it in... uh... August?

MsMakesUrEarsBleed - Total! That's 4EVER away!

BetterThanCeleste - Iggy truth or dare?

MrBlowsStuffUp - Truth

BetterThanCeleste - How can u type? Wait, change that, how can u c what we're typing?

MrBlowsStuffUp - Uh...

_To be continued_

**Evil cliffie! :) How did you like it? Was it better than the first chapter? Worse? Need more chats? Suggestions, complaints, problems, etc, review. Actually, please review anyway. You'll get some freshly made blueberry muffins! *Waves plate under readers' noses* C'mon now, not that hard... just a click and type a few words. Even an 'update soon' is good! *Uses telepathic powers to force readers to click the green 'Review this story/chapter' button* Also, I got the idea for this fanfic from: Loveinghorses098. You should totally check out her MR chat. Also, (sorry about the million 'also's), sorry if you don't like how big it is... I just felt like making it 1700+ words. :)**


	3. C3:With anchovies and bacon bits

**Since I have 15+ reviews, I have to change the screennames, don't I? When it reaches 35, (it's MY fanfic... I can change the rules if I want to!!!), reviews, then I'll change it again. Since JP hasn't appeared yet (but I plan on him doing so in this chapter), I'll keep his screenname the same. Same with Dr Martinez's. This chapter's going to have Fax... but not the traditional kind (*wink, wink*).**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or the Maximum Ride series; they belong to James Patterson, who, I might add, isn't me. The only thing I do own is Mystery Character (you'll find out who she/he is later). Well actually I might not own the Mystery Character... I haven't decided who she/he will be yet.**

**Just so you know:**

Angel - AngelicEvil

Gazzy - Vera-CantThinkOfName-Sorry

Nudge - NeverStopsTalking

Iggy - DaBombMaker

Fang - DarkSilentType

Max - AdiosNon-Amigos

Total - FlyingDawg

Ella - Wish4Wings

Dr Martinez - MyChocoChipCookiezRock

James Patterson - IveMadeMillionsOfUGuys

The Voice - ISoundLikeJeb

Mystery Character - WhoAmI

_(If you haven't read the second chapter, please do so, or else this won't make any sense.)_

DaBombMaker - Uh...

FlyingDawg - SPIT IT OUT IGGY!

DaBombMaker - Uh... well... you see... um.... yeah... that's it... I... no... uh...

AngelicEvil - That's hilarious Iggy!

AdiosNon-Amigos - What's so funny Angel *is hurt to be left out of funniness*

Wish4Wings - Yeah, what's so funny?

AngelicEvil - The answer... *giggles*

Vera-CantThinkOfName-Sorry - Tell us Iggy!

_DaBombMaker has left the chatroom to escape evil questions_

NeverStopsTalking - C'mon Iggy tell us! Don't leave, stay! Tell us the answer that Angel says is so funny! By the way Angel, you STILL haven't seen my pink sparkly adorable nail polish

DarkSilentType - I'll go get Iggy

_DarkSilentType has left the chatroom to chase after the aforementioned birdkid_

FlyingDawg - Since Iggy ran off I guess I get 2 go again. Max, truth or dare?

AdiosNon-Amigos - Truth

FlyingDawg - Max, when r u going 2 get married 2 Fang? (Payback time) **(A/N: *wink, wink*)**

AdiosNon-Amigos - Wha... what!? Heh... Total what!? NO! No way dog! Uh-uh.... uh...

AngelicEvil - MAX!!! THAT'S SO FUNNY!!!!!

NeverStopsTalking - C'mon, tell us the answer Max! & u can't say no, bc we know u r going 2 get married eventually!!! Just pick a month!!! Just as long as it's this year... & it can't b August bc that's when Total's getting... oh wait, that's when he's proposing....

*KA-BOOM*

Wish4Wings - WHAT WAS THAT!?

Vera-CantThinkOfName-Sorry - I dunno!

_DarkSilentType has joined the chatroom_

DarkSilentType - MAX!!!!

_DarkSilentType has left the chatroom_

NeverStopsTalking - Fang!? What r u... I thot... u were chasing after Iggy...

AngelicEvil - *falls to the floor with laughter* ROTFL!!! MAX FELL OUT OF HER CHAIR BC SHE'S CHOKING ON A CHERRY SHE WAS EATING!!! ROTFL!!!

_MyChocoChipCookiezRock has joined the chatroom_

MyChocoChipCookiezRock - MAZ!!! HONEY-PIE!!! R U ALRIGHT!?

_MyChocoChipCookiezRock has left the chatroom_

Wish4Wings - MOM!!!!

_IveMadeMillionsOfUGuys has joined the chatroom_

IveMadeMillionsOfUGuys - *rubs hands together gleefully* Time 4 some serious Fax! & maybe some "Mang" vases...

_IveMadeMillionsOfUGuys has left the chatroom_

NeverStopsTalking - J-JP!!!! C-Can I h-have ur a-autograph-ph!? **(A/N: Nudge's saying that she's so surprised that she's stuttering)**

Vera-CantThinkOfName-Sorry - Hello mother...

AngelicEvil - ...Hello father.

FlyingDawg - Here I am at...

Wish4Wings - ...Camp Granada.

NeverStopsTalking - Camp is very...

AngelicEvil - ...Entertaining.

Vera-CantThinkgOfName-Sorry - And they say we'll have some fun if it stops raining.

FlyingDawg - Y r we singing "Camp Granada"?

NeverStopsTalking - I went hiking...

FlyingDawg - ...With Joe Spivy.

Wish4Wings - He developed...

Vera-CantThinkOfName-Sorry - ...Poison ivy.

AngelicEvil - You remember...

Wish4Wings - I dunno... It was Gazzy's idea

NeverStopsTalking - ...Leonard Skinner.

_Everyone has left the chatroom due the unfortunate circumstance of a power outage _**(A/N: I know they have laptops! But is there any other way to explain all of them logging out at once?)**

~The floor of Dr. Martinez's house, near Max's laptop - Max's POV~

When Total asked when I was getting married to Fang, I was eating a cherry, so, you guessed it, I choked on that cherry. I fell out of my chair because I was choking on that cherry (duh). While I was lying there on the floor, not breathing, I heard the *ping!*s of everyone getting IMs. Suddenly all the lights went out and the pinging stopped.

I soon heard some weird background noise... it sounded like, _"He got ptomaine poisoning last night at dinner."_ Then I heard, _"All the counselors..."_ Then someone else speaking, _"...hate the waiters."_ I thought, _"I must be hallucinating."_ Then I saw someone leaning over me... someone who looked suspiciously like Fang... and everything went out.

~The floor of Dr Martinez's house, near Max's laptop - Fang's POV~

After Angel said Max was choking on a cherry, I looked everywhere in the house for her. The last place that I looked, after not finding her anywhere else in Dr Martinez's house, was in the basement, and that's where I found her. She was turning blue and she definitely wasn't breathing. The rest of the flock was singing, slowly coming towards us, _"And the lake has..." _

"Max?" I asked_. "...Alligators." _She didn't respond. "MAX!" I yelled in her ear. She still didn't respond. I checked her pulse; she didn't have one. _"The head coach..." _I started doing CPR. **(A/N: I know the Heimlich makes more sense, but this'll turn out funny, I promise. *wink, wink*) **"One, two, three..." I muttered under my breath. _"...Wants no sissies."_ I held Max's nose and breathed into her mouth.

Her eyes snapped open and she tried to say, "Wha?" **(A/N: I said it wasn't traditional! :) **_"So he's reading to us from something called Ulysses."_ But after a few seconds she wrapped her arms around my neck. So I guess you could say we were kissing. Well we were kissing. _"Now I don't want..."_ Max sat up, still kissing me. _"...This to scare ya."_ I head them coming down the stairs, but Max continued to kiss me. Then suddenly everything went black. As my hearing faded I heard to things: "That ought to stop him." and _"But my bunkmate's... "_

***

_Chatroom has been created_

_AdiosNon-Amigos has joined the chatroom_

_DarkSilentType has joined the chatroom_

_DaBombmaker has joined the chatroom_

_NeverStopsTalking has joined the chatroom_

_Vera-CantThinkOfName-Sorry has joined the chatroom_

_AngelicEvil has joined the chatroom_

_Wish4Wings has joined the chatroom_

_FlyingDawg has joined the chatroom_

DarkSilentType - Can some1 tell me what happened earlier in the basement?

NeverStopsTalking - Well u were looking 4 Max bc-

DarkSilentType - I meant after she kissed me... y was I knocked unconscious, & with what? & by who?

DaBombMaker - Angel hit u over the head with a shovel

DarkSilentType - WHAT!?

AngelicEvil - Max couldn't breathe, again, so I had 2 hit u over the head. Bsides, I enjoyed doing it, & isn't making me happy what the world revolves around? Other than money, I mean

DarkSilentType - *snarls*

AdiosNon-Amigos - But I liked kissing Fang! **(A/N: *wink, wink*)**

AngelicAngel - But u were turning purple!

NeverStopsTalking - Did u know goldfish have a memory span of 3 seconds? Yeah, really! & that a Tuna's gills look like feathers? Isn't that cool! What did the swordfish say to the trout? There's something fishy about this! Isn't that funny? Well I think it's funny. Or mayb... finny! Get it? No? Two-thirds? Well did u know that fish can't breathe if they're not moving? It's SO weird! And fish can't sleep with both eyes open! Nurse sharks loose their teeth constantly, but they have rows and rows of teeth in their mouth, so there r always backup. Isn't that SO cool!?

Vera-CantThinkOfName-Sorry - Uh...

Wish4Wings - That's SO cool Nudge! Hey, anybody want some pizza? (602) 229-1133 on the line. **(A/N: That's a random Pizza Hut in Phoenix... at 702 North First Street, to be exact.)**

DaBombMaker - I wanna pineapple pizza! With jalapenos!

AdiosNon-Amigos - Anchovies! EXTRA EXTRA EXTRA ANCHOVIES!!!!! Oh, & bacon

FlyingDawg - Cinnamon breadsticks! W/ marinara sauce!

AngelicEvil - Mushrooms & banana peppers plz

DarkSilentType - Ham & red onion

NeverStopsTalking - Hm...Chicken and green olives!

Vera-CantThinkOfName-Sorry - Quepapas potato bites! & some p'zones.

Wish4Wings - & a pepperoni & some breadsticks. *whistles in awe* Here's the total: 57.84. Oh wait... sorry, that's with mediums. It's actually 83.29 **(A/N: Those prices aren't actually based on anything... I just chose random numbers) **

FlyingDawg - Got malaria!

DaBombMaker - What!?

DarkSilentType - What!?

NeverStopsTalking - What!?

FlyingDawg - Camp Granada... *whimpers*

_~29 minutes and a confrontation with Total later~_

AdiosNon-Amigos - What's taking the pizza guy so long?

Wish4Wings - They said he'd b here soon...

*DING-DONG*

Wish4Wings - That must b him!

_Everyone has left the chatroom to go get the pizza!_

~Dr Martinez's foyer - Ella's POV~

I heard the ding-dong of the bell and knew it had to be the pizza guy. "Just a second!" I called. When I opened the door, the pizza guy, (he was short with brown hair and tons of acne), he said, "Here's your p-", took one look at Max, who was standing behind me, and fainted, still holding the seven pizzas.

The poor guy's face was covered in cheese, anchovies, bits of bacon, and sauce. I'm guessing Max's pizza was on top. "Hey! That's my pizza!" Max yelled as she rushed forward to grab her pizza. She then slowly walked backwards, glaring at the pizza delivery guy. After she walked about ten feet back, she darted up the stairs.

Everyone else grabbed their pizzas and accompanying food, then darted up the stairs, following Max. I paid the pizza guy, tossed a napkin onto his face, and then grabbed the rest of the food.

**Well, that's the end! Hope you liked it. 200 hits but only 15 reviews!? That means only 1 out of every 13 people is reviewing! People! I need reviews! An 'update soon' or 'hilarious' or 'it sux' it better then nothing! *offers piles of strawberry cake with coconut frosting* (I know it's gross... but the batter and frosting were on sale!) Sorry about it being so late! This is one of the suckiest months ever... first Spring Break, where my Mom had me doing a million things, then all that schoolwork... ugh. Also, a number of the events that happened in this fanfic were Randomitis Sufferer's ideas. (To Randomitis Sufferer: The Br-St Fi-2-De is coming soon! I promise!)**


	4. C4:Chokecherries poisonous, DEFCON365!

**Any suggestions on what Gazzy's screenname should be? If someone reviews or PMs me about, I'll go back and edit this chapter. Anyway, this chapter probably won't have any Fax... but it's going to be the wackiest chapter yet. :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or the Maximum Ride series; they belong to James Patterson, who, I might add, isn't me. The only thing I do own is Mystery Character (you'll find out who she/he is later). **

**Just so you know:**

Angel - AngelicEvil

Gazzy - Vera-CantThinkOfName-Sorry

Nudge - NeverStopsTalking

Iggy - DaBombMaker

Fang - DarkSilentType

Max - AdiosNon-Amigos

Total - FlyingDawg

Ella - Wish4Wings

Dr Martinez - MyChocoChipCookiezRock

James Patterson - IveMadeMillionsOfUGuys

The Voice - ISoundLikeJeb

Mystery Character - WhoAmI

_Chatroom has opened_

_Everyone, including Total, Ella, Dr Martinez, JP, the Voice, and the Mystery Character has joined the chatroom, but I'm too lazy to type of all that properly_

MyChocoChipCookiezRock - This pineapple pizza with jalapenos is delicious!

DaBombMaker - That's MY pizza! GIVE IT BACK!

MyChocoChipCookiezRock - NO!!!!!

_MyChocoChipCookiezRock has left the chatroom to finish off Iggy's pineapple and jalapeno pizza_

DaBombMaker - Grrr...

Wish4Wings - Give it up Iggy... Mom never stops eating pizza once she starts until every oz of crust, sauce, chz, & xtra toppings r finished off

NeverStopsTalking - It's not ur fault that Max & Ella's Mom is addicted 2 pizza!

IveMadeMillionzOffUGuys - Actually, it's my fault...

AngelicEvil - JP!!!! GIMME UR AUTOGRAPH!!!!!!!!!!!

IveMadeMillionzOffUGuys - Uh...

AngelicEvil - NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

_IveMadeMillionzOffUGuys has left the chatroom to avoid being forced to give out autographs to "evil Angels"_

AngelicEvil - *pouts*

AdiosNon-Amigos - Cheer up Angel! least Miley Montana didn't pop up & leave u!

WhoAmI - U'v got it all wrong Max! The 8 things I hate about Angel, the 8 things I hate about Angel, oh Angel... ur veins, u'r game, u'r secure, u force me 2 laugh, u force me 2 cry, I didn't have a clue what side 2 purchase...

AngelicEvil - WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

_WhoAmI AKA Miley Montana has left the chatroom to be evil to Angel _** (A/N: Miley Montana probably won't come back for a few more chapters... well, actually, I must just get rid of her. Hm...)**

AdiosNon-Amigos - Uh...

Vera-CantThinkOfName-Sorry - *tackles Angel & dumps her out window*

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!

*BANGWHACKBOOMKA-POW* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! *SQUEALKA-BOOMCLANG*

AdiosNon-Amigos - GAZZY!

NeverStopsTalking - GAZZY!

Wish4Wings - GAZZY!

DaBombMaker - w2g Gazzy!

AdiosNon-Amigos - IGGY!

DarkSilentType - *high five Gazzy*!

NeverStopsTalking - FANG!

FlyingDawg - *thumbs up Gazzy*!

Wish4Wings - TOTAL! WITHOUT ANGEL U'D STILL B IN THE SCHOOL!

FlyingDawg - *whimpers*

_FlyingDawg has left the chatroom_

NeverStopsTalking - How'd u know that Ella?

Wish4Wings - Uh...

_Wish4Wings has left the chatroom_

ISoundLikeJeb - I think she forced Angel to tell her everything that you guys ever did.

Vera-CantThinkOfName-Sorry - AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!

DaBombMaker - *pulls out bazooka*

AdiosNon-Amigos - HOW DARE U!!!!!

ISoundLikeJeb - :P. AAAA!!!! ?.

AdiosNon-Amigos - U USED PROPER SPELLING!!!!!!!!!

_ISoundLikeJeb has left the chatroom to avoid Maximum's wrath_

DaBombMaker - *stows bazooka in closet* :( I'v always wanted 2 use my bazooka

_Wish4Wings has discreetly entered the chatroom_

NeverStopsTalking - Let's play truth or dare!

AngelicEvil - *crawls painfully across floor 2wards comp* ok... u go 1st

NeverStopsTalking - Hm... Fang, truth or dare?

DarkSilentType - Dare

NAenvgelriSctEovpislTalking - FANG I DARE U 2 KISS ELLA! **(A/N: Nudge and Angel sent the same IM at the exact same second... so I jammed it together! :)**

DarkSilentType - Who's NAenvgelriSctEovpislTalking? & NO WAY!!!

NeverStopsTalking - U SAID DARE!

AngelicEvil - NO BACKING DOWN!

AdiosNon-Amigos - DO IT FANG!

Wish4Wings -C'mhere Fangie-Boo

DarkSilentType - *chokes*

DaBombMaker - Not this again! Plz tell me u didn't choke on a cherry!

Vera-CantThinkOfName-Sorry - Or a chokecherry!

AdiosNon-Amigos - Chokecherries r poisonous u idiot!

AngelicEvil - IDIOT!

DarkSilentType - IDIOT!

Wish4Wings - IDIOT!

NeverStopsTalking - IDIOT!

DaBombMaker - IDIOT!

*BANG!*

Vera-CantThinkOfName-Sorry - WHAT WAS THAT!?

AdiosNon-Amigos - Some1 broke the door down!

DaBombMaker - Battle stations every1! DEFCON365!

AngelicEvil - DEFCON? I think the military's gonna sue u...

_Everyone has left the chatroom to get to their battle stations; DEFCON365 is set_

Dr Martinez's Foyer - Everyone's POV~

MAX: I saw someone had knocked the door down once I got to the foyer. I yelled, "WHO'S THERE!?" There wasn't a reply.

NUDGE: I heard Max yell... then I saw something really strange in the adjoined living room... It appeared to be a fight to the death.

IGGY: I couldn't see anything, (DUH), but I heard some banging coming form the living room... I heard someone yell, "AHA!", and then a shattering of glass.

GAZZY: I couldn't believe what I was seeing... Barney the Dinosaur, (MY IDOL!!!), was whacking Miley Montana over the head.

ANGEL: There were breadsticks everywhere! Ella had to have gotten a qudraplue order. Barney was using the breadsticks to whack Miley Montana, and she was retlalitasting! **(A/N: That's "quadruple" and "retaliating", by the way.)**

FANG: I heard Angel yell, "MILEY MONTANA! DUCK!", Gazzy yell, "QUACK!", and then someone else rushed through the broken-down door. I mean the broken-down doorway. I mean the, OH WHATEVER! YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!

ELLA: Miley Montana, as EVERYONE knows, has an alter ego: Hannah Cyrus. As I watching the fight to the death with breadsticks, Hannah Cyrus rushed through the door, followed by a random guy off the street.

NUDGE: The random guy off the street was singing... "I LOVE YOU, YOU LOVE ME, LET'S GET TOGETHER AND KILL BARNEY!"

IGGY: I joined the song with the random guy, "WITH A GREAT BIG-" Hannah Cyrus interrupted with, "BREADSTICK!" while Max whapped me over the head.

MAX: I heard someone start the _I Hate Barney_ song, and I just knew it had to be Iggy. I rushed over and whapped him upside the head. Someone else continued singing, "WE'LL KNOCK HIM TO THE FLOOR!"

GAZZY: I screamed at the top of my lungs, "ANYTHING BUT THE _I HATE BARNEY SONG_!!! I'LL TAKE CAMP GRANADA! ANYTHING!!!" I ran over to tackle the random guy.

ELLA: Since I hate Barney, I joined in, "NO MORE PURPLE DINOSAUR!" Barney let out an un-earthly scream, and suddenly shed its "skin" and became Jeb... who was only wearing a pair of boxers.

ANGEL: Miley Montana continued whacking "Barney" with a breadstick... even after he'd become Jeb. A few seconds later, Hannah Cyrus began helping her.

JEB: On the verge of death, I whispered, "Tell Max I always thought of her as my pookie-bear." Another breadstick hit me on the head. Max yelled, "SERVES YOU RIGHT!" and everything went black.

**I said it'd be wacky! Sooo... do you like it? I know it's shorter than the others (except C1), but because I made you wait two weeks I decided you should only have to wait a day for another (chapter). I told you it was coming Randomitis Sufferer! I can't PM you, though, because my computer has ContentWatch on it and something on your profile isn't rated G or something. *sigh* Anysways, review people!!! *shoves piles of homemade chocolate donuts down readers' throats* Suggestions, criticisisms, (I KNOW IT'S NOT A WORD!), etc, please send 'em in! If you hate it, love it, adore it, want to come to my house and kill me, or have anything to say, review! Plus you get e-chocolate donuts. (I KNOW IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE "DOUGHNUTS"!). Anysways, I'll try to finish the next chapter by Saturday, but I might not be able to... but I promise the next chapter will be done by Monday! Kat: I would've sent you this to edit, but since my Internet's super slow, I ust decided to post it.**


	5. C5:Frank Sinatra! Take me to your feeder

**This here's the fifth chapter! Yippeeeeeeeee!!!!!! Not. Anysways, I have 25 reviews, soooo... well I'm changing my rules again! When I get to 30 reviews, (unless I get to 30 reviews before I finish writing this chapter). Anyway, this chapter's going to have something totally new, never before seen: Jartinez. And it's not the J you think it is!**

**(Okay, I wrote that about a month ago, so it really doesn't have any reference to the story. Sorry!)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or the Maximum Ride series; they belong to James Patterson, who, I might add, isn't me. The only thing I do own is Miley Montana/Hannah Cyrus. Oh, and the new "curse" word. Unless you or someone you know used it before me, I'm copyrighting it. Give me credit if you use it. (Just kidding. You don't have to, but I wouldn't mind just a little credit!)**

**Just so you know:**

Angel - AngelicEvil

Gazzy - DaBestGasmanEva

Nudge - NeverStopsTalking

Iggy - DaBombMaker

Fang - DarkSilentType

Max - AdiosNon-Amigos

Total - FlyingDawg

Ella - Wish4Wings

Dr Martinez - MyChocoChipCookiezRock

Jeb - JelloFishRule

James Patterson - IveMadeMillionsOfUGuys

The Voice - ISoundLikeJeb

**They change later on, but those are easy to figure out. (I hope.)**

_Everyone has joined the chatroom, excluding Miley Montana/Hannah Cyrus_

AngelicEvil - Give me a "D"!

DaBestGasmanEva - D!

DaBestGasmanEva - Give me a "E"!

NeverStopsTalking - E!

NeverStopsTalking - Give me a "M"!

DarkSilentType - M!

DarkSilentType - Give me a "A"!

AdiosNon-Amigos - A!

AdiosNon-Amigos - Give me a "N"!

FlyingDawg - N!

FlyingDawg - Give me a "D"!

Wish4Wings - D!

Wish4Wings - Give me a "A"!

MyChocoChipCookiezRock - A!

MyChocoChipCookiezRock - Give me a "N"!

JelloFishRule - N!

JelloFishRule - Give me a "S"!

DaBombMaker - Jello Fish?

IveMadeMillionsOfUGuys - S!

IveMadeMillionsOfUGuys - Give me a "W"!

ISoundLikeJeb - W!

ISoundLikeJeb - Give me a "E"!

AngelicEvil - E!

AngelicEvil - Give me a "R"!

Everyone - R!

AngelicEvil - DEMAND ANSWER!

AdiosNon-Amigos - WE DEMAND AN ANSWER!

_Everyone not in the Flock has left_

NeverStopsTalking - HOW CAN U C DIS IGGY!?

DaBestGasmanEva - ANSWER US!

DaBombMaker - Uh... ihavenoanswerforthisquestionsorryhaveyouseenthatglassofcocacolaidrankearlieritwasahugecupfullofitbutittastedweirdandsmelledabitdifferentbutthatsalrightbecauseitwasntabadkindadifferentmoreagoodkindofdifferenceifounditonthecounteranditwasactuallysortofwarmandwarmcocacolatastesreallyweirdbutthisdidntbecauseitdoesntreallytastelikecoca-cola!!!

AdiosNon-Amigos - THAT WAS MY COFFEE!!! MY SUPER-EXPENSIVE-TRIPLE-FOAM-EXTRA-WHIPPED-CREAM-DOUBLE-BEANS-QUADRUPLE-CARAMEL-ULTRA-FLAVORED LATTE!!!

NeverStopsTalking - We already discussed how Max h8s Lattes

AngelicEvil - *gasps in horror* MAX USED PROPER SPELLING! & NO ABBREVS! & who knew Max liked lattes? me, the mind readr, didn't evn no!

DaBombMaker - *gasps in mick horror* but- but- but- but- mind readrs no EVRYTHNG! evn our dpst, drkst scrts, like how I like 2 eat lint!

DaBestGasmanEva - u like 2 eat lint?

AdiosNon-Amigos - "mick" horror? who sez mick horror, ddddduuuuuddddddeeeee?

NeverStopsTalking - *gasps in real horror* Max's become a- a- a- a surfer Californigander dude! NO!!!!!

DarkSilentType - it's Michigander and Californian, dimwit

DaBombMaker - where's Michiga? & i didn't mean lint! i meant- i meant- I meant- i meant mints! yeah, that's it, i like 2 eat mints!

AngelicEvil - 2 l8 Iggy. we no ur drkst scrt now!

DaBombMaker - *cries like the 2-yr-old he is*

AdiosNon-Amigos - i'm not from Michiga OR Californigan! i swear by all of Nudge's clothing!

NeverStopsTalking - HOW DARE YOU!

_*beep, beep* SERVER OVERLOAD *beep, beep*_

~ third person POV 'cause I'm sick of switches between people - the compy-utter room ~

There was an extremely feminine and girlie scream. "I WAN' MY MOMMY!"

*CLANG*

*CLANG*

*CLANG*

*whimper*

A light lit up one corner of the room. A small mocha-colored girl said, "Hey, look at this! It says "What was that!? Skulls do not go clang!" **(A/N: I just had to add that. Pay tribute to DinosaurNothlit)**

The light shut off, followed by a period of silence.

Then someone said, "If it was a server overload, why did the lights go out in the compy-utter room?"

Someone bounced of the ceiling and yelled, "OW! Good question, Luke-Man. I'm not your father and I never will be, and I'm certainly not gonna wear a black mask that makes me sound like I have asthma. Plus, none of the characters are named Max."

"Wh i evying oh bluy?" someone asked queried.

"Flock-damn you Fang. You gave Iggster a concussion."

A little girl started humming. "What are you humming Angel?" asked the mocha-girl.

Angel started singing. "Fangy's an idiot. Fangy's an idiot. Iggy yelled 'mommy' and Fangy grabbed a metal chair, and now he's got a concussiondiot!"

There was a rustling noise and bang as Max, Fang, and Luke-Man, tackled someone.

*CLANG!*

"Skulls do no go clang." Someone said, muffledly.

"Oops, sorry Nudge." Luke-Man muttered.

"Gazzy, if you're so sorry, then get your elbow out of my face." Came the muffled reply.

Nudge said, "That SO did not rhyme." When they got off of her. There was a shuffling noise, followed by a cascade of whacks. Then the light flickered, on and back off.

In that half a second, everyone saw the room was a mess. One of the chairs had been broken in half, while another had a big dent in it. Iggy's hair was red and he was cross-eyed. Fang had a big scratch on his elbow. Nudge had a huge bruise on her face. Max's hair was in a beehive-like mess. Gazzy was completed buried under CDs, Floppy Disks (OH, THE HORROR!), DVDs, and mousepads.

Then one of those automated voice that you get when you answer sales calls said, "Take. Me. To. Your. Feeder!"

Max, Fang, Nudge, and Gazzy started laughing, Iggy started guffawing, and Angel started winking rapidly.

Then someone, to this day, one-thousand-nine-hundred-and-twenty-eight years later, no one knows who said it, but someone said, "Whatever happened to the pizzas, Hannah Cyrus, Miley Montana, Jeb the Purple Dinosaur, and pookie bear?"

Suddenly, Max's laptop came back to life and showed a live video of Dr. Martinez doing the hokey pokey.

"You stick your right femur in, you take your right femur out, you do the hokey-pokey and you turn yourself around, that's what it's all about. OH, YEAH! You stick your left tibia in, you take your left tibia out, you do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around, that's what it's all about. WOOHOO! You stick your right ulna in, you take your right ulna out, you do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around, that's what it's all about. UH-HUH! You stick you left radius in, you take you left radius out, you do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around, that's what it's all about." Then she realized we were watching. "Uh..." she said. Then the screen went dark.

~ an hour later 'cause this is about IMing, not their life story - Max POV, 'cause I feel like it - the compy-utter room ~

Iggy sang, "Three blind mice, two ring fingers, and a patridge in a pair tree!" _That was SO offkey_ I thought. "That was SO offkey."

"Hm... he has a concussion. He shouldn't move for at least three days." My mom said, looking sterm.

I instantly interpreted than to mean a week.

"And I really mean three days," she went on, firmly, "not a week."

**(A/N: That a quote from MAX, flipped backwards. It's the part after Max got shot, second page of Chapter 15, page 67 in the hardcover edition. '"You shouldn't fly would at least a week." My mom said firmly. I instantly interpreted that to mean three days. "And I really mean a week," she went on, looking stern, "not three days."')**

"FLOCK-DAMN YOU, MOTHER!" Gazzy shouted in a perfect mimicry of my voice.

Mom ignored him and muttered something under her breath about 'cheddar' and 'bicarbonate anthills'. Jeb the Purple Dinosaur walked in, still wearing just boxers, and said, "Get in the chat room."

We all stared at him, including Momma-pie. **(A/N: I know.)** "NOW!" he screamed.

We rushed to the computers.

***

_Chatroom has been created._

_maxinetops, toothyvampire, lizardchicken, pushfudge, spazmanstink, devilhalo, alchoholicmartinivet, airplanepurpledino, nearmagazinemommysgirl, and equalcereal have joined the chatroom._

**(A/N: "Maxine" is a tribute to ouch-eddie. Pay it.)**

airplanepurpledino - i like JelloFishRule better

maxinetops - u called this flock-damned meeting. what dya want?

airplanepurpledino - u wanna funkytron dance party with DJs swirling colors from the ceiling and disco balls spinning records

devilhalo - flock-damned bi-

lizardchicken - NO CURSING OR MAXINETOPS'LL HAVE UR A-

pushfudge - NO CURSING OR MAXINETOPS'LL, LIKE, KICK U OUT THE 8TH STORY WINDOW & WATCH U COME FLY W/ ME, COME FLY, COME FLY AWAY, JUST LIKE FRANK SINATRA, & THEN SHE'LL, LIKE, I DUNNO. I SURE DO LIKE CAPS LOCK. DO U NO WHO INVENTED IT? BC I'LL SEND EM A CHECK OR SOMETH-

lizardchicken - caps lock are illegal!

lizardchicken - flock-damn it, that was supposed to be in caps but caps lock was on and I was holding shift down. -insert curse word of your choice, here-

maxinetops - *kicks lizardchicken out 8th story window, watches him come fly with me. come fly, come fly away, just like Frank Sinatra, & then, like, i dunnos*

alchoholicmartinivet - thnx maxinetops. lizardchicken, whoever the fu-

*alchoholicmartinivet gets kneed in face*

alchoholicmartinivet - whoever he is, he's diving me batzoid.

toothyvampire - what do u REALLY want airplanepurpledino?

airplanepurpledino - 2 rule the world

equalcereal - no, really, what dya want?

airplanepurpledino - 2 know y u ppl think jeb is an airplane instead of jet

spazmanstink - we want a REAL answer airplanepurpledino

airplanepurpledino - cheddar and bicarbonate anthills

nearmagazinemommysgirl - FLOCK-DAMN U!

devilhalo - what lucy said!

maxinetops - lucy?

toothyvampire - lucy?

lizardchicken - *wails in agony of Max's Frank Sinatra-like rjction* lucy?

pushfudge - lucy?

spazmanstink - lucy?

alchoholicmartinivet - lucinda?

airplanepurpledino - i remember lucy! don't i?

nearmagazinemommysgirl - lucy?

equalcereal - how come i'm last? lucy?

devilhalo - I SHALL REVEAL MY SECRET IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF...

~funkytron view - compy-utter room~

Everyone yelled simultaneously, "THE VAMPIRE WITH A SOUL WHO HAS A CRUSH ON THE SLAYER AND ALSO PLAYS A ROLE AS ANOTHER WORD FOR CHAIR AND IN THAT SERIES HAS A CRUSH ON THE WOMAN NICKNAMED AFTER A SKELETON AND THAT GUY'S ALSO IN THAT MUSIC VIDEO!

**Margaret, didja like it? (A really stupid song my mom quotes constantly.) I know I said I'd do it by "Monday", but I completely forgot it existed. Plus, I had a ton of school work to do because I was really behind. And my computer would only let me go to this one site or it'd lock up. Yeah, I know, I'm giving you excuses. SORRY! Anyway, if you didn't get the last part, here's an explan:**

**David Boreanaz played a character named "Angel" in the TV series "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "Angel". In both shows, he had a crush on a character named "Buffy", who was a vampire slayer. (Seriously, I've only seen the first season and half on the second season of Buffy and none of Angel, so don't tell me any accidental spoilers! Please!) In the TV series "Bones", David Boreanaz plays a character named "Seeley Booth", and was commonly referred to as "Booth". He has, sort of, a crush on a character name "Bones". I forget her actual name in the show. Anyway, David Boreanaz is also in Dido Armstrong's music video for "White Flag". Don't believe me? YouTube it, the IMDb it.**

**I HOPE to have chapter 6 up by July 15****th****, but there are no guarantees. Sorry. I definitely won't be adding anything at the send of July/beginning of August because I'm taking a trip with my mom, my sister, and her (sister) husband to some caribean island of other. We haven't decided exactly where yet. Anyway, it might be quick or an eternity; depends. Sometime in July I'll have to ship my laptop off because it's not actually my laptop; it belongs to the school I went to last year which is becoming a different school, so I'll be receiving a different laptop sometime near September. Since I use .docx and this laptop here is the only computer in the house equipped with 2007, I might not be able to finish it until the other laptop comes. Or I might be able to find a .docx to .doc converter somewhere online. Still, eight computers, (more like seven, really, one of them doesn't count), and only one 2007 version of Word? -sigh- Anyway, I'm going to finish rambling now.**

**Review or I'll chop you head off and force you to eat green chocolate. (Gory, I know, but still). Review and you get Godiva. Yum-yum. Criticism, suggestions, accusations, ideas, frowns, smiles, shakes of the head, and so on, I don't mind. ANYTHING!**


	6. C6:It's 43! Well, 47 for Rodney McKay

***clears throat* This here chappie's gonna be at least 3000 words. About any accidental lyrics put into the song: blame my mp3 player. I'm listening to 12 Stones, by the way. Well, fangalicous08, you already know that. Anyway, I have no idea what going's to happen in this chapter, so I'm not saying anything about that. Right, if my author's note start to sound like Nudge, blame it on my superhyperness. *hops up and down in place* Oh, and by the way, Hoedown Throwdown is **_**not**_** on my mp3 player. It's just been stuck in my head.**

**Disclaimer: Hey, Ima girl, how the -insert curse word of your choice- could I be James Patterson? Hm?**

**Just so you know:**

Maxy Waxy - theruleroffunkytron

Fangy-boo - invisiblehiddenincornerdude

Igster - whydoeseveryoneforgetimblind

Nudgey-pie - theultimateyakker

Gazzy-lips - wherestheairfreshener

Angelica - telepathicditz

Total-itarian - thetalkingjumpingflyingpuppy

Ella Marcela **(A/N: I'm the only person on Earth who gets that pun. Yeah, I know.)** - imingduringhistory

Docta Martinez - valenciathevet

Jeb the Purple Dinosaur - jellofishrule

That Thing inside Maxy Waxy's Head - ivelostmine **(A/N: If you don't get that pun, then, well...)**

Random Dude (AKA ME!): imtheauthorofthisffsoyoubetterpaymetribute

**Right, I'm sick of typing out all those CAPS.**

_Chatroom has been created_

_theruleroffunkytronakacookies has joined the chatroom_

_invisiblehiddenincornerdude has joined the chatroom_

_whydoeseveryoneforgotimblind has joined the chatroom_

_theultimateyakker has joined the chatroom_

_wherestheairfreshener has joined the chatroom_

_telepathicditz has joined the chatroom_

_thetalkingjumpingflyingpuppy has joined the chatroom_

_imingduringhistory has joined the chatroom_

_valenciathevet has joined the chatroom_

_jellofishrule has joined the chatroom_

_imtheauthorofthisffandyoubetterpaytribute has joined the chatroom_

telepathicditz - and here is...

everyone - THE NEXT EPISODE OF THE VAMPIRE WITH A SOUL WHO HAS A CRUSH ON THE SLAYER AND ALSO PLAYS A ROLE AS ANOTHER WORD FOR CHAIR AND IN THAT SERIES HAS A CRUSH ON THE WOMAN NICKNAMED AFTER A SKELETON AND THAT GUY'S ALSO IN THAT MUSIC VIDEO!

theruleroffunkytronakacookies - -ahem- Angel, couldja plz xplain who Lucy iz?

telepathicditz - when u tell me the answer to the question of life

imtheauthorofthisffandyoubetterpaytribute - that's ez! 43! well, sometimes 47. but its only 47 4 rodney mckay

telepathicditz - -gasps- how did u no tht?

imtheauthorofthisffandyoubetterpaytribute - seriously, who hasn't watched hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy?

jellofishrule - I havnt

imtheauthorofthisffandyoubetterpaytribute - yeah but ur heads been buried in the sand 4 the past decade

telepathicditz - -mmbls smthng inchrnt- all right ill tell u. lucy is nudges 8th mddl name

theultimateyakker - -gasps- i cant blv u told them angel!

telepathicditz - they forcd me into it! -begins bawling eyes out-

theruleroffunkytronakacookies - -frowns- bad nudge! aplgz!

theultimateyakker - im sorry angel but its not my fault u signd the agrmnt sayng u would nvr tell tht I hav 8 middl nms the 8th of whch is lucy

imingduringhistory - wow. thats a lot of abbrevs.

valenciathevet - -gasps- ella! ur supposed 2 b in hist!

imingduringhistory - I...

_valenciathevet logs off to go and chase down imingduringhistory so she can punish her but then realizes too late that Ella's not actually at home_

theruleroffunkytronakacookies - I just rlzd that fang, ig, gaz, total, & da voice r here but they havnt said anything

thetalkingjumpingflyingpuppy - arf!

_thetalkingjumpingflyingpuppy has left the chatroom to go and do... something_

ivelostmine - NOT THE BAZOOKA!

**(A/N: Coldplay. Coolio.)(A/N: WHO SAYS THAT!?)**

_ivelostmine has left the chatroom to avoid the bazooka that doesn't exist_

invisiblehiddenincornerdude - -does as screenname suggests-

theruleroffunkytronakacookies - iggy? gazzy? hey iggy, u still havnt told us how u can c the comp screen & the kybrd & stuff

whydoeseveryoneforg...

_(Approximately five minutes later...)_

**(A/N: Huh? What? Oh, sorry, got distracted by spider solitaire. -clears throat-)**

whydoeseveryoneforgetimblind - uh...

_whydoeseveryoneforgetimblind has left the chatroom to avoid questioning for the umpteenth time_

**(A/N: Dido. Coincidentally, it's the song that has the music video that has David Boreanaz in it.)**

theruleroffunkytronakacookies - ok so whos left in here? me fang (sort of) nudge gazzy angel ella jebby and random dude aka veraloca raptor **(A/N: Meh. Not telling how I got that nickname. It was Kathy's idea.)**

theultimateyakker - cheese and whiskers!

**(A/N: That was Randomitis Sufferer's idea. Wow, I have waaay too many author's notes.)**

invisiblehiddenincornerdude - y r we (xcludin jeb ella & veraloca raptor) chatting when max and i r in the living room & nudge & angel r in their bedroom & gazzys across the hall from them?

**(A/N: Now it's Fall Out Boy. Ok, this is last time I tell you what band/singer I'm listening to because I'm getting, like, eighteen million author's note. I have a fascination with the number eight this month, for some reason.)**

wherestheairfreshener - uh... i dunno

-receives silence from maxy waxy and fangy-boo-

theultimateyakker - hello?

-receives more silence from maxy waxy and fangy-boo-

**(A/N: -screams head off- EWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEW!!!!!! I JUST GOT COKE UP MY NOSE AND SPRAYED IT ALL OVER MY BED AND MY LAPTOP SCREEN!!!!!! -sneezes- EWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEW!!!!! I'M SERIOUS!!!!!!!!! THIS IS SO NOT FUNNY!!!!!!!!! -coughs up snotty coke-)**

~ The kitchen - the usual POV ~

I looked down at my laptop screen.

theruleroffunkytronakacookies - ok so whos left in here? me fang (sort of) nudge gazzy angel ella jebby and random dude aka veraloca raptor

theultimateyakker - cheese and whiskers!

invisiblehiddenincornerdude - y r we (xcludin jeb ella & veraloca raptor) chatting when max and i r in the living room & nudge & angel r in their bedroom & gazzys across the hall from them?

wherestheairfreshener - uh... i dunno

Wait, what was that!?

I looked back up the screen.

invisiblehiddenincornerdude - y r we (xcludin jeb ella & veraloca raptor) chatting when max and i r in the living room & nudge & angel r in their bedroom & gazzys across the hall from them?

I looked up from my screen and realized I was sitting like a foot from Fang. I started, and he smiled one of his rare smiles.

**(A/N: A new day, no more coke up my nose, and more ideas scribbled into a notebook in the dark while trying to fall asleep. Ah, the good life... -puts on headphones-)**

"So, uh..." I stuttered. Well, I didn't really stutter, but it sounded like I should have.

"Uh... what?" Fang replied blankly.

"Uh..."

Suddenly our laptops were on the floor, and I was in Fang's lap, and we were kissing, and...

~ back in the chatroom... ~

telepathicditz - I wonder y they rnt replying... -concentrates- what does making out mean?

_whydoeseveryoneforgetimblind has rejoined the chatroom_

whydoeseveryoneforgetimblind - -scrolls up and looks at chats- DON'T GO ANGEL! ULL B SCARRED 4 LIFE!

imingduringhistory - SRSLY! DONT GO!

telepathicditz - uh... ok...

jellofishrule - i think its time i explained jello fish & how they rule.

whydoeseveryoneforgetimblind - ok

theultimateyakker - ok. hey jeb u havnt talked at all since u told random dude that u havnt seen hitchhikers guide to the galaxy & after that veraloca raptor was all like 'well uv had ur head buried in the sand 4 past 10 yrs' & head buried in the sand is an intrstng comparison bc ostrichs do it when theyr scared but ur not scared & ur not an ostrich and

jellofishrule - "Jello Poisson" est poisson qui nages en Jello et boivons et manges zéro mais Jello. Ce sont bien parce que ce habite Jello. Qu'est-ce que est ce _pas_ bien?

wherestheairfreshener - jeb we dont speak spanish

theultimateyakker - thats french gazzy

imtheauthorofthisffandyoubetterpaytribute - dude, ur french is worse than mine. & mine sux.

imtheauthorofthisffandyoubetterpaytribute - anyway, jeb said smthng along the lines of '"jello fish" are fish that swim in jello and drink and eat nothing but jello. it's cool cuz they live in jello. how can that _not_ be cool?'

imingduringhistory - literally it was smthng like '"jello fish" am fish who swims in jello and drink and eats zero but jello. they are good because they live jello.' uh... something about 'what is _not_ good?'

imtheauthorofthisffandyoubetterpaytribute - u speak french? sweet. ahem. literally: 'what is it what is it _not_ good?' idiomatically? i dunno

telepathicditz - whats idomatocalee mean?

_the breathless maxy waxy and fangy-boo have returned_

theruleroffunkytronakacookies - idiomatically sweetie. it means figuratively.

telepathicditz - & that means?

theruleroffunkytronakacookies - its the opp of literally sweetie

telepathicditz - oh

_jellofishrule has been evicted from the chatroom for no apparent reason_

imingduringhistory - CRAP! mrs tanner's coming this way! gotta go guys!

_imingduringhistory has left the chatroom to avoid the wrath of Mrs. Tanner, her history teacher_

theruleroffunkytronakacookies - that was random

invisiblehiddenincornerdude - ur telling me

theultimateyakker - u know, max, u never did say when u & fang r getting married.

imtheauthorofthisffandyoubetterpaytribute - HEY PPLS! Ever heard of CAPS!? Huh? Huhhuhhuh? Crap, I'm full of superhyperness.

theruleroffunkytronakacookies - no cursing around 6 yr olds!

_imtheauthorofthisffandyoubetterpaytribute has been kicked out of the chatroom by theruleroffunkytronakacookies_

telepathicditz - max?

theruleroffunkytronakacookies - yes sweetie?

telepathicditz - im 7

imtheauthorofthisffandyoubetterpaytribute - that's right! hav u not read book #6? erm... I mean #5...

theruleroffunkytronakacookies - sweetie im- hey didnt i kick u out!?

imtheauthorofthisffandyoubetterpaytribute - yeah but i rule this fanfic. i can do whatev I want 2

_imtheauthorofthisffandyoubetterpaytribute has been re-kicked out the chatroom by theruleroffunkytronakacookies, this time for good_

theultimateyakker - uh hello!? scroll back up & ull c wht I typd then max u can answer

theruleroffunkytronakacookies - uh...

telepathicditz - how about in new Hampshire?

theruleroffunkytronakacookies - not that again!

_SERVER OVERLOAD! SERVER OVERLOAD!_

~ Real life. Yippers! Anyway, no one's perspective and everyone's perspective. That's right, I'm being a philosophical idiot now! I realize this, now keep reading! - The living room ~

I was still sitting on Fang's lap. He had to reach around me to type on his laptop, but whatever. Suddenly, all of the computers started spouting nonsense about a server overload, and suddenly the lights went out. I was wondering what the -insert curse word of your choice- happened, when I heard the thunder.

Then Fang's lips were crushing mine, and I forgot about everything else.

**"Pop it, lock it, polka dot it, country-fy, then hip hop it..."**

Max was sitting in my lap with her laptop, and I was reaching around her to get to mine. Then the computer said that us talking so much had caused a server overload. Then the power went out. I hadn't, and I don't think Max had, noticed that there was a thunderstorm outside.

Completely randomly, I started kissing Max and, well, she kissed back. Then something literally rained on our parade.

**"Put your hawk in the sky, move side-to-side, jump to the left, stick it, glide..."**

I was typing something, and then the computer went whacko and the lights went out. I thought of an awesome idea, and I put it into motion. I ran out the door, down the stairs, then slowly stalked into the living room. I went past the lovebugs, got a two-liter bottle of coke from the fridge, walked back over to the couch, then poured the entire over their head.

Max spluttered for a moment, then she yelled, "GAZZY!"

**"Zig-zag, 'cross the floor, shuffle in dia-go-nol..."**

...and then someone dumped an entire bottle of _something_ over our heads. Seeing the perpetrator, I yelled, "GAZZY!" Then I grabbed the conveniently located two-liter bottle of Sprite off of the table...

**"When the drum hits, hands on yo' hips, one-footed one-eighty twist..."**

Max yelled, "GAZZY!" I shook the coke out of my face and saw Max grab a conveniently located two-liter bottle of Sprite. She grabbed it, then began dumping it over Gazzy's head...

**"And then a, zig-zag, step, slide, lean it left, clap three times..."**

I thought my plan had gone perfect. Well, it had, but then I saw Max grab something off of the table, and I was getting worried... then she dumped an entire bottle of sprite over my head...

**"Shake it out, head to toe, throw it all together, that's how we roll..."**

Me and Angel went downstairs to see what all the commotion was about because like the computers had done some strange things then the lights when out then we like heard Max scream "GAZZY!" and we were all worried and then like some screamed and it was all girlie so I think it was Max but Max doesn't really scream and when she does it isn't that girlie and then when we were down stairs we saw something so funny that we couldn't help laughing our heads off and it really was funny because Gazzy had dumped coke over Max and Fang and then Max had dumped Sprite all over Gazzy and he had to have been the one that screamed and that made it even more funnier because Gazzy screamed like a girl even though he wasn't a girl and then Fang and Max and Gazzy were glaring at us but that made us laugh even harder and-

**"Do the hoedown! (Throwdown!) Do the hoedown! (Throwdown!)"**

After dumping the bottle of sprite over Gazzy's head, I burst out laughing, because, well, Gazzy had screamed like a little girl. After about a minute of solid laughter, I realized Fang and Gazzy were glaring at something. I looked over, and there were Nudge and Angel, laughing harder than I had, which is quite a feat, to tell you the truth. I starting glaring at them, too, but _oh, no_, it just made them laugh harder. I didn't even know someone could laugh that hard. Then the lights came back on.

_(Back in the chatroom...)_

_Chatroom has been created_

_theruleroffunkytronakacookies has joined the chatroom_

_invisiblehiddenincornerdude has joined the chatroom_

_whydoeseveryoneforgetimblind has joined the chatroom_

_theultimateyakker has joined the chatroom_

_wherestheairfreshener has joined the chatroom_

_telepathicditz had joined the chatroom_

_thetalkingjumpingflyingpuppy has joined the chatroom_

_imingduringfrench has joined the chatroom_

_valenciathevet has joined the chatroom_

_jellofishrule has joined the chatroom_

_imtheauthorofthisffandyoubetterpaytribute has joined the chatroom_

_ivelostmine has joined the chatroom_

theruleroffunkytronakacookies - all in fave of making Gazzy pay say aye!

~ third person POV ~

Throughout the house, there was resounding, "Aye!"

_(Back in the chatroom...)_

theruleroffunkytronakacookies - i mean in the chatroom!

telepathicditz - oh. aye!

invisiblehiddenincornerdude - aye!

imingduringfrench - aye!

theruleroffunkytronakacookies - aye!

theultimateyakker - aye!

valenciathevet - aye!

theruleroffunkytronakacookies - all not in favor say nay!

wherestheairfreshener - nay!

thetalkingjumpingflyingpuppy - nay!

whydoeseveryoneforgetimblind -nay!

ivelostmine - nay!

jellofishrule - nay!

theruleroffunkytronakacookies - ok then... wait wht bout u random dude?

imtheauthorofthisffandyoubetterpaytribute - aye!

theruleroffunkytronakacookies - ok then. 7 ayes & 5 nays. whts gazzys pnshmnt going 2 b?

imtheauthorofthisffandyoubetterpaytribute - lets stick him in a pink dress!

imingduringfrench - *high 5vs random dude*

theultimateyakker - theres only one problem and that problem is i dont think any of us own a pink dress and if none of us own a pink dress then how can we force gazzy 2 wear a pink dress and this really is a problem and y cant we just stick him in a pink skirt itd b just as funny and

imingduringfrench - i own a pink dress. i wore it once 4 halloween

_jellofishrule, whydoeseveryoneforgetimblind, wherestheairfreshener, thetalkingjumpingflyingpuppy, and ivelostmine have been kicked out of the chatroom by The Evil Girl Squad + Fang_

invisiblehiddenincornerdude - "The Evil Girl Squad + Fang"?

imingduringfrench - -nods mutely-

invisiblehiddenincornerdude - oh-kay...

imtheauthorofthisffandyoubetterpaytribute - fang dude stop being so ooc!

_valenciathevet has left the chatroom for no ap"parent" reason_

theultimateyakker - yeah fang ur def not acting the way u normally do not that im incredible at knowing how u normally act max is really better at that but u do seem a bit off and u r acting ooc but then if ur acting ooc its random dudes fault but then u could say its jps fault but then again whatev and max did u notice how fang is acting ooc and its really weird bc fang never acts ooc and

imtheauthorofthisffandyoubetterpaytribute - did any1 else notice how nudge always gets cut off at "and"? -sings the Evil Girl Squad + Fang song-

telepathicditz - ...

theruleroffunkytronakacookies - Evil Girl Squad + Fang song?

imtheauthorofthisffandyoubetterpaytribute - 2 the tune of Hoedown Throwdown - "We're the, Evil, Girl Squad plus Fang, we're all girls, except for Fang, we love to torment boys, except for Fang, we have sweet fun, sweet fun, sweet, fun-fun, we have fun, tormenting boys all da-ay, we wreak havoc, havoc all day, all to boys, except for Fang!"

invisiblehiddenincornerdude - oh-kay...

theultimateyakker - is that our theme song bc if it is thats rlly and that means we have a theme song and who else do you know that has a theme song and thats so cool and howd u come up with that theme song and

imingduringfrench - uh... interesting song... uh...

telepathicditz - hey ur right. nudge always gets cut off at "and"

imingduringfrench - i gotta go now bc my frnch tchr is getting suspicious but when i get home were going 2 force gazzy into a pink dress

_imingduringfrench has left the chatroom to avoid Mme Knight's wrath_

imtheauthorofthisffandyoubetterpaytribute - STITCHES!? WHAT!? I'VE GOT TO GET STITCHES!?

_imtheauthorofthisffandyoubetterpaytribute has left the chatroom because of something to do with stitches_

invisiblehiddenincornerdude - i should let u figure ur plans out

_invisiblehiddenincornerdude has left the chatroom so the "girls" can work on their evil plan_

telepathicditz - me & nudge were planning on watching a movie...

theultimateyakker - that's right were going 2 c a rlly cool movie do u want 2 watch it with us max bc that would also b rlly cool and

_telepathicditz has left the chatroom to watch a movie_

_theultimateyakker has been yanked out of the chatroom by telepathicditz so they can watch a movie_

theruleroffunkytronakacookies - great. now im the only 1 left.

theruleroffunkytronakacookies - y am i talking 2 myself? i guess i better go do smthng...

_theruleroffunkytronakacookies has left the chatroom to go do something_

_Chatroom has closed._

**About half of the things that happened in this chapter were ideas I came up with on the verge of sleep. I wrote them down in a notebook in the middle of the night, so this chappie might be a bit whacked. Of course, all of the chapters are at least a bit whacked. Cookies and cream muffins for ye reviewers! :) I hope to have the next chapter up by next Wednesday, but... Oh, and by the way, I used lines from Hoedown Throwdown by Miley Cyrus instead of astericks or things about how the POV is changing. I don't really like Miley Cyrus, but that song has been stuck in my head for a while. So, didja like the chapter born from my Sprite-and-Coke-induced-superhyperness? Didja didja didja? Oh, and a note about Total's screenname: I know some of you might not remember this, so let me remind you that in whatever book Total shows up in, he jumps, like, sixteen feet into the air, and the flock thinks that's Itex had him. It was whatever book that had Anne in it. Something I forgot to mention in the last chapter that might not make sense is Iggy's second screenname "lizardchicken". That comes from "iguana" and "eggy". Ok, this ending-author's-note-thing is, like, completely out of order. Oh, and by the way, I did actually have to get some stitches today. A grand total of... two. That's right, two dinky stitches. Ciao. (That's French too, actually.)**


	7. C7:Pentaerythritol tetranitrate?

**773 hits!? Dang! I just realized using the first letter of all the flock's names you can spell "faming"! Oh, and by the way, I've given up on the number of reviews decided when I change the screennames. I'll do it whenever I feel like it, thank you very much! This chapter will have 2500+ words. Ahem.**

**Just so you know:**

Fang - teeth

Angel - glory

Max - above

Iggy - fire

Nudge - shove

Gazzy - smelly

---

Total - complete

Ella - magazine

Dr. Martinez - spanish

Jeb - neurocomputerization **(A/N: That gets exactly five hits on Google. Do I know what it means? No idea, but for some reason I think it has something to do with mind control... either that or a computer **_**inside**_** someone's head... or an actual brain **_**inside**_** a computer... now I'm thinking of Wrinkle in Time...)**

The Voice - listen

Dude, my real name's Amber - treesap

**Here goes... ahh... nothing.**

_Chatroom has been created_

_teeth has joined the chatroom_

_glory has joined the chatroom_

_above has joined the chatroom_

_fire has joined the chatroom_

_shove has joined the chatroom_

_complete has joined the chatroom_

_magazine has joined the chatroom_

_spanish has joined the chatroom_

_neurocomputerization has joined the chatroom_

_listen has joined the chatroom_

_treesap has joined the chatroom_

neurocomputerization - expect the unexpected luke skywalker

treesap - aw, shut up loke groundrunner!

_neurocomputerization has left the chatroom without further explanation_

listen - be 1 with the dog prncss bunhead

magazine - its leia u idiot. bunhead is in the prdy.

_listen has left the chatroom without further explanation_

magazine - this is crpy

treesap - agreed. hello?

spanish - darth vader can go 2 the void!

above - fa-reak-ee!

magazine - ur tllng me

_spanish has left the chatroom without further explanation_

complete - i think its the star wars cnvntn. all the adults r hyped.

glory - star wars? whts star wars?

above - its a bnch of movies sweetie

_teeth, fire, smelly, and complete have been kicked out of the chatroom by above_

above - ok ppls we need 2 work on our plan 2 put gazzy in2 a pink dress

magazine - i no where it is. itll take me mayb 3 secs 2 grab it

above - good. whos going 2 put it on him?

treesap - "theruleroffunkytronakacookies - ok then. 7 ayes & 5 nays. whts gazzys pnshmnt going 2 b?

imtheauthorofthisffandyoubetterpaytribute - lets stick him in a pink dress!

imingduringfrench - *high 5vs random dude*

theultimateyakker - theres only one problem and that problem is i dont think any of us own a pink dress and if none of us own a pink dress then how can we force gazzy 2 wear a pink dress and this really is a problem and y cant we just stick him in a pink skirt itd b just as funny and

imingduringfrench - i own a pink dress. i wore it once 4 halloween

...

imingduringfrench - i gotta go now bc my frnch tchr is getting suspicious but when i get home were going 2 force gazzy into a pink dress"

magazine - so how about all of us do it?

shove - wht do u mean ella itd b hard 4 all of us 2 put gazzy in a pink dress at the same time cnsdrng theres only 1 gazzy & 1 pink dress so its not like all of us hav 2 put our own pink dress on our own gazzy or anythng so only 1 of us would b able 2 do it right so who will it b unless u hav some whacky plan or smthng?

above - i thnk i know wht ella means. like 1 of us can hold gazzy down 1 of us can get the dress 1 of us can stick the dress on gazzy 1 of us can takes pics & 1 of us can get the boys right?

treesap - right. theres me ella nudge angel & u which is 5 ppl so we can do that

above - ok so heres r plan...

~ Max's POV - the foyer ~

The doorbell rang. I rushed forwards and answered the door. Standing there was a girl who was about five feet tall and had blonde hair. **(A/N: -smacks Max with herring- I have blondeish brown hair, I tell you! Blondeish brown!!!)** The first thing I noticed was that she looked a lot like Gazzy when he's about to blow something up. The second thing I noticed was that she was wearing a blue tie-dye shirt, shiny purple pants, and brown flip-flops that looked ready to fall apart at any second. Then she smiled. "Hi, I'm Vera, ae-kay-ae random dude. You're Max, right?"

I blinked. "Uh... hi..."

"Didn't expect me to be so short?"

"Uh... yeah..."

She smiled again. "Don't worry; I'll be able to do my part of the plan. So..."

"Um... Ella, Nudge, and Angel are this way."

I showed Vera into the kitchen.

Nudge and Ella were sitting in chairs, while Angel was on the counter. Vera said, "Hi I'm Vera ae-kay-ae random dude; we were talking in the chatroom earlier? I'm the one that's going to help you with putting a pink dress on Gazzy. So do we have everything we need?"

Ella stood up. "Hi, I'm Ella."

"Nice to meet you, Ella! Do we know where Gazzy is?"

Angel nodded. "Yeah, he's with Iggy in their bedroom, building some explosive or other." she frowned. "Something to do with cat litter, candle wax, lead strifnuts, and pentraythrito tetinate?

"You mean lead styphnates and pentaerythritol tetranitrate?"

Angel nodded, "Yeah, that."

Vera frowned. She murmured something along the lines of, "Using a primer and a booster? What are they thinking? Unless they plan on using the cat litter to spark the reaction... well, that's good and all, but they have to have a clear path through the wax. And they'd need a lighter. But if it's orange wax? Something in the dye always makes the stuff go off when you mix it with polycarbonates..."

"Okay then. Let's get to work."

~ Nudge's POV - Iggy and Gazzy's room ~

I rushed up the stairs towards Iggy and Gazzy's room. I burst through the door. "Hey Gazzy we need you to come downstairs 'cause we have something really cool to show you but we want only you to see it just yet because it has something to do with something you came up with and we want to make sure we have all of it right." I took a breath. "Oh, and a friend said that using a primer and a booster doesn't make sense unless you're planning on using the cat litter to spark a reaction but then you'd have to clear a path through the wax and you'd need a lighter unless you use orange wax because something in the dye makes it go off when you mix it with polycarbonates."

They stared at me dumbfounded. Well, Gazzy stared at me; Iggy stared somewhere over my right shoulder. "C'mon!" I told Gazzy. "You're going to be late for what we have to show you and then Max and them will get really mad 'cause we've spent forever making this just perfect and you already know but let me remind you that we based it on one of your ideas and we want to make sure we got it right and all."

I grabbed his hand, and pulled him the door and down the stairs.

~ Ella's POV - Ella's bedroom - about five minutes earlier ~

I dived deep into my super messy closet and came up with the pink dress that I'd grown out of a couple years ago. I'd worn it _once_ for Halloween. I would've thrown it away years ago, but I'd forgotten I had it.

Then I grabbed my camcorder off of my nightstand. _This is going to be so funny!_ I thought to myself. I darted out my door and down the stairs.

~ Angel's POV - the living room ~

Ella came running down the stairs, with a pink dress and camera in hand. She was thinking_ This is going to be so funny!_

She tossed me the pink dress, and I dived over the couch, so I was hiding behind it, against the wall. Ella whisper-yelled, "Go! Go! Go! C'mon Nudge, we need to get Gazzy down here!"

~ Vera's POV - the living room ~

Ella rushed up the steps, and I had an idea. I darted into the kitchen, grabbed a big bowl, grabbed all of the sprinkles, put all of them into the bowl, and then darted back to the living room.

I stowed the bowl of sprinkles behind the couch next to Angel, who was holding the pink dress. I whispered to her, "Don't touch these! I have a plan."

Then I shoved myself behind the TV. When you're 4'11.5" and really, really thin, it isn't that hard to jam yourself into a space six by twelve inches big.

~ Max's POV - the living room ~

While Nudge ran up the stairs, I made sure everyone was where they should be. Ella slid underneath the coffee table, camera in hand. I could tell she was already filming. I sat on the couch which Angel was situated behind.

_Let the games begin_ I thought.

~ Gazzy's POV - Iggy and Gazzy's room ~

Iggy and I were talking about lead styphnates and pentaerythritol tetranitrate, AKA PETN, when Nudge sprang through the door. She said, "Hey Gazzy we need you to come downstairs 'cause we have something really cool to show you but we want only you to see it just yet because it has something to do with something you came up with and we want to make sure we have all of it right." She took a breath.

"Oh, and a friend said that using a primer and a booster doesn't make sense unless you're planning on using the cat litter to spark a reaction but then you'd have to clear a path through the wax and you'd need a lighter unless you use orange wax because something in the dye makes it go off when you mix it with polycarbonates."

We both stared at her. She looked hurried, and said, "C'mon! You're going to be late for what we have to show you and then Max and them will get really mad 'cause we've spent forever making this just perfect and you already know but let me remind you that we based it on one of your ideas and we want to make sure we got it right and all."

Iggy and I were startled beyond words. What does _Nudge_ know about explosives? Then she grabbed my hand and dragged me down the stairs.

~ Third person-slash-sometimes-maybe-omniscient POV - the living room ~

Max watched as Nudge dragged Gazzy down the stairs. Ella watched through the camcorder lens as Nudge dragged Gazzy down the stairs. Vera watched from behind the TV as Nudge dragged Gazzy down the stairs. Angel looked under the couch and watched as Nudge dragged Gazzy down the stairs. They all watched.

Gazzy looked around confusedly. "What is it you wanted to show me?"

Suddenly, Max grabbed Gazzy's shoulders and wouldn't let him move from where he was. Ella jumped up from under the coffee table, getting every inch of what was happening. Angel dived out from behind the couch at the same second that Vera dived out from behind the TV. "Angel!" Vera whisper-shouted, and Angel threw her the pink dress.

Then Vera whisper-yelled, "Nudge! Get the stuff from behind the couch!

Angel ran up the stairs. Vera jogged over to Gazzy and shoved the pink dress over his head. Then Nudge began pouring sprinkles _all over_ Gazzy, and Vera helped her.

Upstairs, Angel ran down the hall, banged open Fang's door, dragged him out into the hallway, and then did the same to Iggy. Then she led them through the hall and down the stairs, pulling them along because they were resisting.

Back in the living room, Nudge and Vera were pouring millions upon millions of sprinkles all over Gazzy. Then the boys came down the stairs. Fang saw Gazzy and cracked up. "What?" Iggy asked. "What is it!?"

Nudge, seeing that they would soon run out of sprinkles, ran through the house until she found where all of the craft-making stuff was hidden. Then she grabbed all of the bottles of sparkles she could find, and ran back to the living room.

While Ella was videotaping Gazzy being "sprinkled" on, she explained to Iggy that, "We shoved Gazzy into a pink dress and now we're dumping sprinkles all over him. I'm videotaping it."

Then Iggy burst out laughing. Running back into the room, Nudge dumped the bottles of sparkles into the near-empty bowl of sprinkles.

Angel and Nudge both started pouring sparkles over Gazzy, and Vera did when there were no sprinkles left. Ella told Iggy, "Since they ran out of sprinkles, now they're using sparkles."

Then Max had an idea. "Angel! Nudge! Vera! Hold Gazzy down! I'll be right back!" Then she rushed up the stairs. The three of them easily held Gazzy down, thought he did put up quite a fight.

Max darted through her, Ella's, and Nudge and Angel's rooms, grabbed certain items of feminine clothing. She darted back down the stairs and began throwing panties and bras onto Gazzy. His arms trapped by the despicable pink dress, Gazzy could do nothing about it.

Ella said, "Now Max's throwing panties and bras all over Gazzy."

They ran out of sparkles, but Vera realized that there were a bunch of sprinkles all over the floor; so she grabbed the sprinkles off of the floor and began putting them back into the bowl. Then she started dumped handfuls of sprinkles over Gazzy's head.

At that moment, Dr. Martinez, Jeb, and The Voice walked in the door from the Star Wars convention. Dr. Martinez has on a Star Wars t-shirt, Jeb had a Star Wars baseball cap and mini-flag-thing, and The Voice, well, The Voice had manifested as a pink fluffy cloud-like thing, and had STAR WARS ROX! written in big letters with a Sharpie all over its body-thing.

Dr. Martinez's purse slid from her grasp. Startled and angry-ish, she asked, "What is the meaning of this!?"

_(Back in the chatroom...)_

_Chatroom has been created_

_neurocomputerization has joined the chatroom_

_spanish has joined the chatroom_

_above has joined the chatroom_

_teeth has joined the chatroom_

_fire has joined the chatroom_

_magazine has joined the chatroom_

_shove has joined the chatroom_

_treesap_

_smell has joined the chatroom_

_glory has joined the chatroom_

_complete has joined the chatroom_

_listen has joined the chatroom_

spanish - can some1 _please_ tell me wht hppnd in the living room jst now?

treesap - it was maxs fault

_treesap has left the building, stage right_

spanish - -blinks- who was tht?

above - a friend. ahh listen mom... gazzy was all like being mean and we decided 2 pnsh him u no? so we came up w/ this plan 2 stick him in a pink dress that ella owned & then vera tht the grl who jst lft she came up w/ the idea of pttng sprnkls & sprkls all over him and i dcdd it would b even funnier if we dmpd all of our bras and panties over him and ella was vdtpng the entire thng...

teeth - wow max u sounded a lot like me jst then bc u no how ill tlk 4 like hrs on end w/out stppng 4 a breath or anythng and im talking w/out commas & periods and whtvr &

above - we no wht u mean nudge.

magazine - -drinks some light tropical punch- ew this stuff is gross

spanish - no sdtrckng Ella!

listen - egad! a caps lttr!

above - ow! u just ylld tht in my head!

spanish - this rlly isn't the time...

**Cliffie! I realize that most of this chapter was dominated by real-world happenings; but do you realize how many words it takes to describe a birdkid getting stuff into a pink dress without making it sound utterly detail-less? Anyway, this chapter isn't as long as the last one, but it's still pretty long. I actual got it done before Thursday! Yippee! Lol. I hope to have the next chapter done by Friday. Suggestions, ideas, criticisms, flames, errors, etc. just review. Review anyway! Whether you loathe it, adore it, or something somewhere in between, review! Oh, and if you review, I'll put a new chapter up sooner! :) Check my flow, mwah. (Sorry, the waiter didn't just take my table and give it to Jessica Simps.)**


	8. C8:Are you on Night Quills, Fang?

**Sorry about not updating for forever! I had writer's block.**** For this chapter I'm doing something new: everything **_**not**_** in the chatroom will be in Dr. Martinez's POV. Yuppers. First time I've **_**ever**_** written anything in an adult POV, and I've written a ton of stories. **

**Anyway, I'm going to try for around 2000 words this chapter. And my incarnation will be vacant in the chapter. (Read: no random dude.) **

**Using the letter of the flock's first names, you call also spell "Im Fang" (as is stated in JRE). Creepy. **

**As a warning, I spent the past few days re-reading all of the Maximum Ride books. See, I knew I just had to when I didn't remember who ter Borscht was. Oh, and to clear up something, in this FF, The Voice is a computer that can create a semi-solid holographic manifestation of itself, and yes, I do normally talk like that. Also, I've got to thank Skittles-dee diddles: without her, this chapter never would've been written.**

**Almost forgot! I edited chapter 7 some, so you might want to go back and read it.**

**Disclaimer: Hi, I'm Disclaimer, AKA the cat. Vera does not own Maximum Ride or any associated franchises. Please disregard all references to ownership of Maximum Ride and aforementioned associated franchises. Maximum Ride and aforementioned associated franchises are owned solely in conjunction by James Patterson and Little, Brown and Company.**

**Moi: Huh?**

**Disclaimer: Vera doesn't own Maximum Ride.**

**Moi: Gotcha.**

**Just so you know:**

Iggy - leadstyphnatesrock

Max - imlikedapresofdaflock

Fang - iblendintodarkness

Angel - wheresmyhalo

Nudge - lechatterbox

Gazzy - pinkdressessuck

Dr. Martinez - gostarwars

Jeb - gimmeouttahere

Ella - igotoschool

Total - takilaohtequila

The Voice - pinkfluffycloudthing

And the only other screenname is quite obvious...

**Previously, on IMing to the Maximum...**

_magazine - -drinks some light tropical punch- ew this stuff is gross_

_spanish - no sidetracking Ella!_

_listen - egad! a caps letter!_

_above - ow! u just yelled that in my head!_

_spanish - this really isn't the time..._

**And now...**

imlikedapresofdaflock - i beg 2 differ!

pinkfluffycloudthing - beggars cant b choosers!

imlikedapresofdaflock - so im not allwd 2 choose wht i want 2 differ on?

gimmeouttahere - precisely

imlikedapresofdaflock - thts stpd

_leadstyphnatesrock, iblendintodarkness, wheresmyhalo, lechatterbox, and pinkdressessuck have discreetly exited the chatroom_

igotoschool - look lets jst get bck on topic

gostarwars - wht hppnd earlier 2day?

imlikedapresofdaflock - gazzy dmpd a bottl of coke ovr me & fang

igotoschool - & max dmpd a bottl of sprite ovr gazzys head

imlikedapresofdaflock- & thn we dcdd 2 retaliate

igotoschool - by stckng him in a pnk drss

imlikedapresofdaflock - we cvrd him in sprkls 2

igotoschool - & vdtpd it

_gimmeouttahere and pinkfluffycloudthing have discreetly exited the chatroom_

**(A/N: AGH! WADS OF CAT FUR! ALL OVER MY KEYBOARD! STUPID CAT! SHEDDING EVERYWHERE!)**

gostarwars - girls...

imlikedapresofdaflock - he dsrvd it!

igotoschool - he so ttlly did!

gostarwars - i rlly should pnsh u...

igotoschool - wht did we do wrng?

imlikedapresofdaflock - its only fair

gostarwars - well...

igotoschool - thnx mom!

imlikedapresofdaflock - yeah thnx!

_imlikedapresofdaflock and igotoschool have left the chatroom_

gostarwars - y me?

_gostarwars has left the chatroom_

_Chatroom has closed_

~ THE REAL WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dr. Martinez's POV ~

Somehow, Ella and Max talked me into letting them go free. I don't know how they did it; must be their Evil Daughter Skills.

~ Back in the cha-cha-cha-chatroom...~

_Chatroom has been created_

_leadstyphnatesrock has joined the chatroom_

_imlikedapresofdaflock has joined the chatroom_

_iblendintodarkness has joined the chatroom_

_wheresmyhalo has joined the chatroom_

_lechatterbox has joined the chatroom_

_pinkdressessuck has joined the chatroom_

_igotoschool has joined the chatroom_

pinkdressessuck - y r we here?

leadstyphnatesrock - dont ask me

imlikedapresofdaflock - were here 2 talk bout random thngs like herrings & spinach

wheresmyhalo - is a herring a bird or a fish?

leadstyphnatesrock - max & angel just stole ideas frm anthr fanfic! -points-

imlikedapresofdaflock - oh shut it

igotoschool – spinach?

lechatterbox – its act both a herring i mean its a bird & a fish but not the same time duh bc c thers a typ of fish clld herring & thers a typ of bird calld herring & y r we tlkng bout spnch its not u evn like spnch max &-

leadstyphnatesrock – hey, look! nudge got cut off & again!

igotoschool – i ntcd tht…

lechatterbox – LOL!

wheresmyhalo– wth!?

**(A/N: I HATE THIS COMPUTER! HATE IT! THE STUPID AUTOCORRECT WON'T STOP AUTOCORRECTING! AGH! Thankfully, I'm getting a new laptop tomorrow… HOPEFULLY, it'll equipped with a more intelligent version of MSW! Right, my rant's over now…)**

imlikedapresofdaflock – dont ask

lechatterbox – pointy banana! pointy banana! pointy banana!

igotoschool – cheezy whizzo…

iblendintodarkness – does this ff hppn 2 hav any plot?

imlikedapresofdaflockaw… th wrtr dude dsnt like us tht much…

**(A/N: -appears- I SHALL RULE YOU!!! MWAHAHAHA!!! YOU SHALL OBEY ME!!! BY THE SACRED MALAMUTE I SWEAR YOU WILL!!! –disappears-)**

leadstyphnatesrock – uh…

igotoschool – tht was an a/n… we wrnt sppsd 2 c it

leadstyphnatesrock - oh

_Everyone has been evicted from the chatroom by Julie Chen_

bigbrotherhost: MWA-HA-HA!

~ Dr. Martinez's POV - kitchen ~

Out of nowhere, everyone was evicted from the chatroom by Julie Chen. JULIE CHEN!? But it got weirder. Max suddenly shouted, "PICKLES!"

Then Fang ran towards the front door, and yelled, "I'LL GET IT!"

I guess he thought Max shouting 'PICKLES!' was the doorbell, or something...

Then I heard Fang talking to... no one. "Oh, yeah, sure Mr. Pepperoni Pizza Slice... you want to see Angela Weber? I'm sorry, there's no Angela Weber, here- oh, you mean Angel! Yeah, sure you can talk to her. ANGEL!"

I heard someone running towards the front door, presumably Angel. "What!?"

"Mr. Pepperoni Pizza Slice wants to meet you!"

"...Fang, there's no one there..."

"Of course there is!"

"Are you on Night Quills, Fang?"

"You betcha!"

Then there a smacking noise, which probably meant Angel had facepalmed.

"Dr. M," Angel called. "I think we need to hide all of the NyQuil in a locked cabinet. Otherwise, Fang'll end up acting like an idiot 24/7..."

"AGREED!" I called back. I jogged off to go shove all of the NyQuil into a locked cabinet. Angel went back to wherever she had been.

Of course, when I got to the bathroom and opened the medicine cabinet, I certainly didn't expect there to be no NyQuil. As in, none at all, and there had been three full bottles in there yesterday.

Uh-oh.

~Chatting in my room, chatting in my room, dun-dun-dun~

_Chatroom has been created_

_imlikedapresofdaflock has joined the chatroom_

_iblendintodarkness has joined the chatroom_

_leadstyphnatesrock has joined the chatroom_

_igotoschool has joined the chatroom_

_lechatterbox has joined the chatroom_

_pinkdressessuck has joined the chatroom_

_wheresmyhalo has joined the chatroom_

lechatterbox - lets play trth or dare!

wheresmyhalo - agrd! sounds fun!

leadstyphnatesrock - not this again...

lechatterbox - max u can go 1st

imlikedapresofdaflock - hm... ella trth or dare?

igotoschool - trth

imlikedapresofdaflock - do u like iggy?

igotoschool - uhhh...

lechatterbox - uv got 2 answr trthflly ella & u did say trth & u hav 2 answr it no mttr wht or else we get 2 play whack-a-minkle w/ u as th minkle

imlikedapresofdaflock - i 3 minkles! esp plyng whack-a-minkle!

igotoschool - um... yes?

imlikedapresofdaflock - thts wht i thot u would say

igotoschool - WHT!?

imlikedapresofdaflock - THTS WHT I THOT U WOULD SAY!

igotoschool - YS THT!?

imlikedapresofdaflock - BC U 2 SO LIKE EA OTHR!

igotoschool - IS IT THT OBVS!?

imlikedapresofdaflock - YEAH!

lechatterbox - I LUV CAPS LOCK!

leadstyphnatesrock - -facepalm-

_The world has been taken over by Julie Chen since the flock didn't bother figuring out why she'd kicked them out of the chatroom_

bigbrotherhost - MWA-HA-HA!

**From now on, I'll be updating this fanfic every Wednesday (hopefully), because of school. Although, if you notice my complete schedule, you'll see that you might get some updates on Sundays.**

**Oh, and when I was writing this, I had to keep going back and abbreviating everything since I'm so used to typing using proper spelling haha.**

**You know what's funny? In chapter two, Total said that he'd propose to Akila in August... and now here's August, and I started writing a Takila wedding story. The weird thing is, however, that I didn't remember that Total had said that until _after_ I started writing the story... it's a creepy coincidence.**

**Also, the Max-yells-pickles-Fang-thinks-it's-the-doorbell-and-answers-the-do-to-see-that-Mr-Pepperoni-Pizza-Slice-wants-to-see-Angel thing was Skittles' (Fangalicous08) idea.**

**Did anyone catch the Twilight and St. Fang of Boredom references?**

**R&R?**


	9. C9:Curry, ketchup, pickle, jalapeno

**For once, I have nothing to say! Wait, I do have something to say. Okay, so I spell ter Borscht like "Borscht", but everywhere I see it, it's spelled "Borcht". Considering I don't actually own a copy of the first three Maximum Ride books, I can't look it up. So, how do you spell Borscht? Also, does anyone know who invented the term "huggles"? Huh. Here goes.**

**Disclaimer: Vera does not own Max(imum) Ride, Fang, Iggy, Nudge, Gazzy, Angel, Total, Ella, Dr. Martinez, Jeb, The Voice, Julie Chen, Big Brother, the Maximum Ride series, James Patterson, Narnia, C. S. Lewis, the term "squee-diddly-umpkins", or Pringles. Vera does, however, own the Minkle Fur Company, along the pharse "Max wuvs her widdle Fang pwushie dat wuvs her".**

**Just so you know:**

Max - xam

Fang - gnaf

Iggy - yggi

Nudge - egdun **(A/N: Egg done?)**

Gazzy - yzzag

Angel - legna

Total - latot

Ella - alle

Dr. Martinez - aicnelav

Jeb - bej **(A/N: Beijing!)**

Julie Chen - eiluj

The Voice - eciov **(A/N: I instantly think of "Echthroi" when I see this screenname, lol.)**

**Here goes...**

_Chatroom has been created_

_xam has joined the chatroom_

_gnaf has joined the chatroom_

_yggi has joined the chatroom_

_egdun has joined the chatroom_

_yzzag has joined the chatroom_

_legna has joined the chatroom_

_latot has joined the chatroom_

_alle has joined the chatroom_

_aicnelav has joined the chatroom_

_bej has joined the chatroom_

_eiluj has joined the chatroom_

_eciov has joined the chatroom_

egdun: squee-diddly-umpkins! does any1 here like prngls? i mean they hav a mlln dif flvrs like original slt & vngr sour crm & onion chddr chees bbq curry ktchp chili chees dog pckl bakd potato jalapeno pzz rnch bcn rnch spcy guacamole & a bnch of othr flvrs!!!!!!!!!

**(A/N: Isn't it creepily coincidental that there's a can of Pringles beside my bed? Weird... Pringles! -lunges-)**

xam: dear god...

gnaf: ur tllng me

xam: fang! u said smthng!

gnaf: uh... i gss i did...

xam: squee-diddly-umpkins! i wuv u my widdle fang pwushie day wuvs me! -huggles-

**(A/N: Remember, in "Nutty Is My Middle Name"?)**

_gnaf has left the chatroom since we doesn't want to become "max's widdle fang pwushie dat wuvs her". gnaf is also quite scared of xam_

_xam has left the chatroom to chase after her "widdle fang pwushie dat wuvs her"_

yggi: wht is it w/ obsssn & th wrd 'squee-diddly-umpkins'?

yzzag: -shrugs-

legna: squee-diddly-umpkins! a stffd toy str!

_legna has left the chatroom in order to buy Celeste a friend_

**(A/N: I just suddenly remembered this: If Barbie's so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?)**

yggi: wht did i tell u?

yzzag: -shrugs-

yggi: hello?

yzzag: -shrugs-

yggi: gazzy?

yzzag: -shrugs-

yggi: do u do anythng othr thn shrg!?

yzzag: -shrugs-

yggi: -facepalm- im out of here

_yggi has left the chatroom to escape from yzzag's shrugging_

yzzag: -shrugs-

egdun: look! a can of prngls!

_egdun has left the chatroom in order to chase after a can of Pringles that suddenly appeared out of nowhere and started to float away_

alle: ohkay...

yzzag: -shrugs-

alle: no more shrggng or i kck u out of th chtrm!

yzzag: -shrugs-

_yzzag has been kicked out of the chatroom by alle since he shrugs too much_

aicnelav: wll ive got 2 go i hav wrk 2 do

_aicnelav has left the chatroom so she can do "work". Just another poor excuse to go shopping._

alle: ohkay... tht was wrd...

bej: ive got 2 go 2 i hav 2 get on a pln 2 beijing

**(A/N: Sorry, I just _had_ to say that...)**

_bej has left the chatroom in order to get on a plane to Beijing, where he will meet his lover, Roland ter Borscht_

alle: wrdr...

lalot: 2 wrd 4 me. im out

_lalot has left the chatroom in order to evade the weirdness that appears to be inhabiting the flock_

alle: whos lft?

eiluj: im here

eciov: & me

alle: thts it? wll ths is gng 2 b an int conv

eciov: do u like rstd mnkl meat?

alle: ah... no...

eciov: ok j/w snc im bout 2 go ctch some frry mnkls & i was wndrng if ud wnt any

alle: no thx...

_eciov has left the chatroom to go catch some furry minkles in order to eat roasted minkle meat, much to the author's dismay_

alle: i gss tht jst lvs u & me julie...

eiluj: i gotta go. bsy w/ tkng th wrld & all

alle: riiight...

_eiluj has left the chatroom in order to work on her plans to take over the world_

alle: i gss tht lvs me... y am i tlkng 2 myslf? idk.

_alle has left the chatroom because she doesn't know why she's talking to herself_

_Chatroom has been closed_

~Max's POV - sooomewheeere, ooouuut, theeere, 'neath the pale blue skyyyy...~

"OM MY GOSH DARNED FREAKIN' NO PICKLE DANGIT JUICE!" I shouted, aggravated.

**(A/N: That would be a tribute to you, Skittles. In case you haven't guessed it already, but I would bet you probably have...)**

"What is it?" Angel asked me in her cute six-sometime-seven year old little-angelic way.

I sighed. "I can't find Fang anywhere, and if I can't find Fang, I can't turn him into my widdle Fang pwushie dat wuv me."

Nudge and Angel stared at me. I stared right back. Eventually, they blinked, and I cracked up since they blinked _at exactly the same time_. Then they started glaring at me. This, of course, made me laugh even harder, but then someone came up behind me. Guess who?

Why, no other than the birdkid I want to turn into my widdle Fang pwushie dat wuvs me himself: Fang. And you know what he did? He kissed me! Right, on, the, lips. Nudge and Angel are going to be squeeing about this for days...

Nudge and Angel, _of course_, squeed and awed their hearts out, until we finally broke apart. Then Nudge said, "I have an idea!"

Uh-oh. "What?"

"How about I read the entire Narnia series from end to end, without stopping?"

"Uhhh..."

Nudge suddenly pulled a copy of Narnia out of nowhere. Everyone who had been in the chatroom earlier gathered around. Nudge cleared her throat and took a deep breath. "'This is a story about something that happened long ago when your grandfather was a child...'"

~nineteen hours and a quick break for dinner later~

"'...now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story which no one on earth has read, which goes on forever: in which every chapter is better than the one before.'"

Then Nudge, who was a lovely shade of blue, collapsed to the ground and started gasping for air. I mean, c'mon, what do you expect? She hadn't taken a breath in nineteen hours, or so, since she didn't stop reading all through the quick break for dinner.

We had all been staring at her the entire time she had read, amazed that she could talk _so much_ on one breath. Dang, that girls has _lungs_!

**I know, I know, I know it's really short, I'm sorry. It's taken me over an hour to write this much, and really, I should be asleep right now. See what I do for you people!? And, yes, those are the actual beginning and ending parts of Narnia. I even used the comma placement that they used, though if I had been writing it, then I would've added a few million of them... **

**Unfortunately, I've only read to halfway through _The Voyage of the _Dawn Treader. I should start reading it again... whenever I finish _The Immortal Fire_. Anyway, I'll update again on Wednesday.**

**Oh, and I kept typing "ecoiv" instead of "eciov", for some reason, and it kept making me crack up.**

**R&R?**


	10. Fang's blog

**Okay, so I've decided that for this story, for every fifty reviews I get, you guys get a Fang's blog chapter, along with the regular chapter! :) I decided on doing Fang's blog, since this fanfic is mostly about computers. By the way, the visitor number is how many hits you get if you Google "Google".**

**Also, thanks for ideas, M.G! And, Skittles, I just couldn't help it. :)**

**Disclaimer: Vera doesn't own Fang or Fang's blog.**

Welcome to Fang's blog!

You are visitor number: 2,050,000,000 (or so)

Hi everyone! Well, it turns out something happened today that the flock should've stopped but sort of... forgot about. You guys have all heard about how Julie Chen has taken over the world, right? Of course you have. See, we were chatting online (even though we all live in the same house) and Julie Chen suddenly kicked us all out of the chatroom. Well, we completely ignored her, and then got back to chatting. We should've tried to figure out why she had kicked out of the chatroom but we, like I said, forgot about it. Then she took over the world.

And, now, it's time to fight back! We need to take the world back from Julie Chen!

Using out super sneaky birdkid ninja skills, we were able to discover Julie Chen's evilicous08 plan! You see, Julie Chen is planning on having the entire world fight for Veto and HoH and such. If you get evicted, you get sent to Mars.

Yes, I did say Mars. MARS!!! You know, that red planet that just _happens_ to be our neighbor? Yeah, that one.

How she plans on us getting there or even surviving for more than half a second since we can't breathe on Mars I have no idea.

Whoa. Nudge moment.

Anyway, the flock's fine. Well, mostly fine, I had a little incident with Night Quills... but that's beside the point.

IT'S TIME TO FIGHT BACK!

Avey osi, Fang.

**I know it's short, but it _is_ an extra chapter. Anyway, whenever I get fifty reviews, I'll do a comments on this blog entry thing. However, I need you guys to review and act like you're commenting so I'll have some 'comments' for Fang to reply to! :)**

**R&R?**


	11. C10:Your next stop? The twilight zone

**I am SO sorry about being _so_ late! At first, I couldn't figure out what would happen in this chapter, and then, when I did, I became really busy which catching up schoolwork and such. SORRY!**

**In other news, OMPJ! I just copy and pasted all of the schtuff i have written for this fanfic so far, and it's thirty-six pages long!!!!!!!! THIRTY-SIX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's awesome! Oh, and if you recognize something that isn't MR related but wasn't in this story before, that's because I took some schtuff from some of my other stories. And from Skittles. Just so you know.**

**Anyway, here's the chapter!**

**Disclaimer: Vera has created a disclaiming song, called, appropriately, "The Disclaiming Song":**

_**I don't own what you recognize**_

_**I mostly don't own what you don't**_

_**But then there are things that I own**_

_**And they're mine, I tell you, all mine!**_

_**Now quite trying to sue me**_

_**It won't get you anywhere**_

_**I don't have any money**_

_**So don't even ask for a dime**_

_**I don't own what you recognize**_

_**I so like totally dooon't**_

_**I don't claim to copyright**_

_**Everyone owns what is theirs**_

_**Now quit trying to sue me**_

_**Don't ask for any pennies**_

_**Whoever owns it does own it**_

_**And that someone is not me**_

_**I tell you, I don't own it**_

_**Unless I say I do**_

_**So don't go trying to sue me**_

_**It won't get you anywhere**_

_**I don't own what you recognize**_

_**So don't get me to pay up**_

**You can tell she was bored. (Hey, I ought to make the piano music for that, then stick a video on YouTube of me singing and playing it! I could also turn it into a songfic... hm... -scribbles in notebook- Darn it, my pen's dead!)**

**Just so you know...**

Max - myfangpwushie

Fang - turnsoutimapwushie

Iggy - eggyorniggycantdecide

Nudge - nudgiekinsysweetie **(A/N: I came up with that **_**before**_** the Elluminate, but this one is still for you guys, Lily and Saint!)**

Gazzy - gizgazgozguzzy

Angel - ihaveawingedminkle **(A/N: That's for you, Lily!)**

Total - iamnotacerealpog

Ella - neithergabbynorbella

Dr. Martinez - iamnotthesecond **(A/N: That's for you, Skits!)**

Voice - ilikethemacarena

**Hereth goeth nothingeth**

_Chatroom has been created_

_myfangpwushie has joined the chatroom_

_turnsoutimapwushie has joined the chatroom_

_eggyorniggycantdecide has joined the chatroom_

_nudgiekinsysweetie has joined the chatroom_

_gizgazgozguzzy has joined the chatroom_

_ihaveawingedminkle has joined the chatroom_

_iamnotacerealpog has joined the chatroom_

_neithergabbynorbella has joined the chatroom_

_iamnotthesecond has joined the chatroom_

_ilikethemacarena has joined the chatroom_

nudgiekinsysweetie: hey guys whts smthng i should say or read out loud!?

neithergabbynorbella: this could b fun... the chmcl name 4 titin!

~Real life! - Nudgiekin's room - Nudge's POV~

"OKAY, EVERYBODY!" I shouted. "HERE GOES! Methionylthreonylthreonylglutaminylarginyl..."

~five hours later~

"...asparginylglutaminylglutaminylserxisoleucine!"

Who knew a word could be so long!?

~Unreal life!~

neithergabbynorbella: O.O nudge. u. rock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

nudgiekinsysweetie: *irock*

iamnotthesecond: ive got smthng 4 u 2 recite!

nudgiekinsysweetie: wht is it?

iamnotthesecond: the 1st million digits of pi!

~Nudgiekin's room - Nudge's POV~

"ALRIGHT, EVERYONE!" I shouted again. "HERE GOES! Three-point-one-four-one-five-nine-two-six-five-three-five..."

~Thirteen-and-a-half days later~

"...five-seven-nine-four-five-eight-one-five-one!"

~Unreal life... again...~

neithergabbynorbella: O.O times a sdwys 8!

nudgiekinsysweetie: *irock* whts smnthng else i can say?

myfangpwushie: hm... how about u sing "One Week" by barenaked ladies? its rlly hard 2 sing ive tried.

nudgiekinsysweetie: ok!

**(A/N: Okay, I couldn't help myself. I love that song; it's hilarious. Go check it out! Really, you should blame St. Fang of Boredom, not me - in her Avian Flu chapter 42 chat video thing on max-dan-wiz, she used that song, and I YouTubed it. Now, I'm hooked. See? It's all her fault!)**

~-guitar riff- This one's for you, Nudge, baby! -another guitar riff- - Nudge's POV!~

I cleared my throat and shouted, "HERE GOES! Again...

_-insert chorus-_

_Hold it now and watch the hoodwink_

_As I make you stop, think_

_You'll think you're lookin' at Aquaman_

_I summon fish to the dish_

_Although I like the Chalet Suisse_

_I like the sushi 'cause it's never touched a fryin' pan_

_Hot like wasabi when I bust rhymes_

_Big like LeAnn Rimes _**(A/N: I instantly think of that one quote in Fly By Twilight...)**

_Because I'm all about value_

_Bert Kaempfert's got the mad hits_

_You try to match wits_

_You try to hold me, but I bust through_

_Gonna make a break and take a fake_

_I'd like a stinkin', achin' shake_

_I like vanilla, it's the finest of the flavors_

_Gotta see the show, 'cause then you'll know_

_The vertigo is gonna grow_

_'Cause it's so dangerous you'll have to sign a waiver_

_-insert chorus-_

_Chickity China, the Chinese chicken_

_You have a drumstick and you're brain stops tickin'_

_Watchin' X-Files with no lights_

_We're _dans la maison

_I hope the smokin' man's in this one_

_Like Harrison Ford, I'm getting frantic_

_Like Sting, I'm tantric_

_Like Snickers, I'm guaranteed to satisfy_

_Like Kurosawa, I make mad films_

_'Kay, I don't make films_

_But if I did they'd have a samurai_

_Gonna get a better set of better clubs_

_Gonna find the kind with tiny nubs_

_Just so my irons aren't always flyin' of the backswing_

_Gotta get in tune with _Sailor Moon

_'Cause that cartoon has got the boom anime babes_

_That make me think the wrong thing_

_-insert chorus-_

_Birchmount stadium, home of the Robbie._"

~Moortahc!~

myfangpwushie: O.O wow u rock nudge!

nudgiekinsysweetie: i know!

ilikethemacarena: lol

neithergabbynorbella: ???

ilikethemacarena: -shrugs-

eggyorniggycantdecide: whacko...

ihaveawingedminkle: i hav an idee 4 wht nudge can say!

nudgiekinsysweetie: wht!?

ihaveawingedminkle: read all of th twilight books aloud from end 2 end!

nudgiekinsysweetie: ok!

~Nudge's mom has got it goin' on! - Nudge's POV~

"Once again, here goes!" I shouted. "I'd never given much thought to how I would die..."

~Fifty hours later~

"...And then we continued blissfully into this small but perfect piece of forever."

~In the chatroom, since I can't think of an other interesting scene switches~

neithergabbynorbella: u rock nudge. lets play truth or dare!

nudgiekinsysweetie: ok! ella truth or dare?

neithergabbynorbella: dare!

nudgiekinsysweetie: ok i dare u 2 kiss iggy!

neithergabbynorbella: ok!

_neithergabbynorebella has left the chatroom so she can kiss Iggy_

_eggyorniggycantdecide has left the chatroom so Ella can kiss him_

-kiss quickly evolves into full out make-out session-

myfangpwushie: y do i hav a feelng tht iggys scrnnm is no lngr accrt?

nudgiekinsysweetie: -giggles- bc it isnt. max truth or dare?

myfangpwushie: dare!

nudgiekinsysweetie: ok i dare u 2 kiss fang!

myfangpwushie: ok!

_myfangpwushie has left the chatroom so she can kiss Fang_

_turnsoutimapwushie has left the chatroom so Max can kiss him_

-kiss quickly evolves into full out make-out session-

ihaveawingedminkle: try 2 keep it rated pg-13 guys!

gizgazgozguzzy: ew just ew

nudgiekinsysweetie: -giggles-

iamnotacerealpog: im leavng now got a wddng 2 plan & all...

_iamnotacerealpog has left the chatroom in order to "plan the wedding"_

ihaveawingedminkle: nudge truth or dare?

gizgazgozguzzy: dare!

ihaveawingedminkle: i dare u 2 eat 100 mrshmllws w/o stppng! **(A/N: Thanks, M.G! :) I know it was inadvertant, but still.)**

gizgazgozguzzy: ok!

_gizgazgozguzzy has left the chatroom in order to eat one hundred marshmallows_

ihaveawingedminkle: so whos left in here?

nudgiekinsysweetie: im here

ilikethemacarena: im here but i wont b soon

_ilikethemacarena has left the chatroom for completely and utterly unknown reasons_

nudgiekinsysweetie: tht was weird...

iamnotthesecond: im here

ihaveawingedminkle: wow theres like no1 in here...

nudgiekinsysweetie: ikr?

iamnotthesecond: ur tllng me. uhoh boss cmng this way gotta go

_iamnotthesecond has left the chatroom so she won't get fired for IMing during work hours_

ihaveawingedminkle: so its just us huh?

nudgiekinsysweetie: unless...

ihaveawingedminkle: naw...

-Twilight Zone music begins to play-

nudgiekinsysweetie: O.O lets leav now

ihaveawingedminkle: good idea

_nudgiekinsysweetie has left the chatroom_

_ihaveawingedminkle has left the chatroom_

rodserling: You're traveling to another dimension. A dimension not only of sight and sound, but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination. That's the signpost up ahead. Your next stop? The twilight zone.

_rodserling has left the chatroom_

_Chatroom has been closed_

**Y'know what's funny? I run SpellCheck on this before I upload it, even though there're a million "typos" because of the txt language. It's weird, I know, but running SpellCheck is a habit. **

**The next chapter will _hopefully_ go up on Wednesday. I already have the screennames picked out! Yayness!**

**R&R?**


	12. C11:The return of Julie Chen! MWAHAHA!

**Okay, so the hiatus is over! Yayness! I'm updating! :)**

**In other words: I! AM! BACK!**

**I actually wouldn't have updated this until the Monday after I'd posted the last chapter of Wings, but a friend and I are having an updating contest. Details in "Nutty Is My Midde Name".**

**If any of you have read chapter six, which you should've if you're reading this chapter (XD), I talked about how 43 was the answer to life, the universe, and everything. Well, I was wrong. It's 42. Sorry about that...**

**If you want to check and make sure that I'm right, do a Google search for "the answer to life, the universe, and everything", minus the quotation marks. Google calculator with says it's 42, as well as Wikipedia.**

**Oh, and I actually _don't_ have the next few chapters written. But I figure I have enough ideas that I should be able to write it by next week. (:**

**Disclaimer: I don't own MR. JP does. Juice so you know.**

**Juice, er, just so you know:**

Max - veraamberhaskidnappedme

Fang - stfangofboredomhaskidnappedme

Iggy - fangalicous08mgchristianiandaleria14havekidnappedme

Nudge - lilythsflockhaskidnappedme

Gazzy - razamatazhaskidnappedme

Angel - lilythsflockandnatvvhavekidnappedme

Total - lilythsflockandnatvvhavekidnappedme2

Ella - veraamberhaskidnappedme2

**(A/N: Everyone on that list I either talk to a lot or have read and had something read by them, except for Razamataz. I couldn't find anyone else who had kidnapped Gazzy, so I was stuck. Oh, well...)**

**Here goes...**

_Chatroom has been created_

_veraamberhaskidnappedme has joined the chatroom_

_stfangofboredomhaskidnappedme has joined the chatroom_

_fangalicous08mgchristianiandaleria14havekidnappedme has joined the chatroom_

_lilythsflockhaskidnappedme has joined the chatroom_

_razamatazhaskidnappedme has joined the chatroom_

_lilythsflockandnatvvhavekidnappedme has joined the chatroom_

_lilythsflockandnatvvhavekidnappedme2 has joined the chatroom_

_veraamberhaskidnappedme2 has joined the chatroom_

veraamberhaskidnappedme: wht the heck is up w/ our scrnnms!??!?!?!?!?!??!?

stfangofboredomhaskidnappedme: -shrug-

veraamberhaskidnappedme: -eyeroll- great help fang...

stfangofboredomhaskidnappedme: whtvr max

veraamberhaskidnappedme: alrght since sparky ovr ther isnt going 2 help us-

stfangofboredomhaskidnappedme: sparky!?

veraamberhaskidnappedme: sparky. since he isnt going 2 help us lets just ignr him ok?

veraamberhaskidnappedme2: sure

lilythsflockandnatvvhavehidnappedme2: -shrug- whtvr

razamatazhaskidnappedme: sounds cool

veraamberhaskidnappedme: iggy? total? wht do u guys hav 2 say?

fangalicous08mgchristianiandaleria14havekidnappedme: i dont care

veraamberhaskidnappedme: ok... total?

lilythsflockandnatvvhavekidnappedme2: lets ignr fang!

veraamberhaskidnappedme: tht was ooc... ok then we ignr fangykins!

fangalicous08mgchristianiandaleria14havekidnappedme: "fangykins"?

veraamberhaskidnappedme: dont ask

stfangofboredomhaskidnappedme: so ur going 2 ignr me?

lilythsflockandnatvvhavekidnappedme: so ange... wht do u want 2 do?

stfangofboredomhaskidnappedme: max?

lilythsflockandnatvvhavekidnappedme: idk... wht do u want 2 do?

stfangofboredomhaskidnappedme: hello?

veraamberhaskidnappedme: idk either... wbu elliekins? wht do u want 2 do?

veraamberhaskidnappedme2: "elliekins"!? srsly!? & how about... ive got it! lets do maxagrams!

lilythsflockhaskidnappedme: i luv maxagrams!

stfangofboredomhaskidnappedme: any1?

veraamberhaskidnappedme: whos going 1st?

lilythsflockhaskidnappedme: i will! hm... "fire jams fight"

veraamberhaskidnappedme: -blinks- i hav no clue

stfangofboredomhaskidnappedme: me nthr

fangalicous08mgchristianiandaleria14havekidnappedme: thts ez! james griffiths

lilythsflockhaskidnappedme: thts rght!

fangalicous08mgchristianiandaleria14havekidnappedme: my turn... "mars exists"

veraamberhaskidnappedme: sexist arms?

lilythsflockandnatvvhavehidnappedme: maxs sister!

fangalicous08mgchristianiandaleria14havekidnappedme: angel got it

lilythsflockandnatvvhavehidnappedme: my turn... "me on quid gun"

**(A/N: For some reason, I'm suddenly thinking of how if "me eon" were in French, then it would be abbreviated "m'eon"...)**

veraamberhaskidnappedme2: uhhh

_Everyone has been kicked out of the chatroom, ONCE AGAIN, by Julie Chen_

bigbrotherhost: Mwa-ha-ha... well this is borng

_bigbrotherhost has left the chatroom because it is "borng"_

_Chatroom has been closed_

~Substantive actuality - Culmination's locality appertaining to panorama~

**(A/N: Don't you just love thesauruses!? (~Real life - Max's POV~))**

WHAT THE SEXILY!? We were kicked out of the chatroom by Julie Chen, _again!_ THAT DIRTY RAT! GRRRR...

Suddenly, Nudge ran into the room. "I WANT TO GO TO THE MALL CAN WE GO TO THE MALL MAX I REALLY WANT TO GO TO THE MALL AND WE HAVEN'T BEEN TO A MALL IN FOREVER PLEASE MAX IT WOULD BE SO MUCH FUN WELL MAYBE NOT FUN FOR YOU BUT FOR ME, ANGEL, AND ELLA AND _PLEASE_ MAX I MEAN WE HAVEN'T BEEN TO ONE IN FOREVER AND I KNOW I ALREADY SAID THAT BUT I JUST FELT LIKE SAYING THAT AGAIN AND PLEASE WITH A CHERRY TOMATO ON TOP!?"

I stared blankly at her. "Uh... sure?"

"THANKS, MAX!"

I turned to Fang. "Do you know what I just signed up for?"

Fang shrugged. "I think she said something about a mall..."

"Crap."

"Well, you can't get out of it now. You already said yes."

I sighed. Fang was right. Wait, did I just say Fang was right!? Fax must be hazing my brain.

**(A/N: One of my favorite quotes of all time: Tobey (DinoasurNothlit): "Andalites and Hork Bajir are tapdancing on my braaaaain. No Yeerks, though. Yeerks are not allowed to tapdance on my brain for obvious reasons." I just suddenly remembered that when I typed "brain".)**

The Nudge ran back into the room, Angel and Ella following behind her, and dragged me towards the front door. "Come ON,Max! You agreed to go to the mall with us, so you have to WALK!"

I groaned and started shuffling towards the front door. Nudge was still dragging me, trying to get me to walk faster.

So, yeah, we took a trip to the mall. THE FREAKIN' MALL!!!!! I'm going to kill Nudge.

Angel intruded on my thoughts. _But then you wouldn't have anyone to mentally throw sporks at Iggy's head!_

I facepalmed. "Don't remind me, Ange."

Once they'd duct taped me to the seat - THEY LITERALLY DUCT TAPED ME TO THE SEAT! - Angel, Nudge, and Ella went back into the house to get the boys. They also got duct taped to their seats. Why do I think it's not a coincidence that they sat Fang next to me?

Suddenly, the pizza guy ran up. He knocked on my window, and I realized that without all of the pizza toppings on his face, he looked EXACTLY like Sam. O_o

Ack, the evil chat expressions are invading my most private places, like my mind!

Anyway.

The Sam clone pizza guy knocked on the window and made odd hand motions. I blinked, then rolled the window down with my elbow. I would've rolled it down with my hand, but, like I said, I was duct taped to the seat. "Uh... hello?"

"Max!" he said in a perfect imitation of Sam's voice. "I've been waiting for YEARS to talk to you!"

I blinked again. I guess he really _was_ Sam. "Okay, first off, I met you seven months ago, so you couldn't have been waiting "years" to talk to me. Second off, if you wanted to talk to me, then why the heck did you faint when you brought us pizza?"

"Uh..."

"I thought so."

He got a _Huh?_ expression on his face as I rolled the window back up, again with my elbow.

"Quick, get us out of here!"

Ella put the pedal to the metal (why is _ELLA_ driving?! She's twelve freaking year olds! O_o (dammit, more emoticons...)), and we tore out of the driveway at highspeed.

Sam squealed like Nudge at the midnight showing of New Moon, and jumped back about three inches, before stumbling back a few feet.

_And that was the end of sweet Molly Malone..._

Wait, whaaat? Gah. Ignore me.

I tried to get the duct tape off, to no avail.

Within minutes (Ella was still going 90MPH – don't ask how we didn't get pulled over, 'cause I don't know), we arrived at the mall.

_And that was the end of sweet Molly Malone..._

Gah! Why do I keep thinking that!? I don't even know anyone named Molly Malone!

I shook my head as Ella, Nudge, and Angel unduct taped us.

Once they'd gotten us into the mall, they dragged us to the most horrible store on the entire planet. A store so horrible that it should be _illegal_.

_Victoria's Secret_.

_To be continued..._

**Mwahaha! Cliffy! I love cliffies.**

**By the way, you guys should totally check out St. Fang of Boredom, Fangalicous08, M.G Christiani, Aleria14, Lilyth'sFlock (AKA LilyHasWings AKA Angel Ride's Ghost AKA Lily and Angel and Gazzy Ride), and natvv! (:**

**And the pizza-guy-being-Sam thing was Gontulet's idea. Thanks! :)**

**Oh, and if any of you figure out the answer to "me eon quid gun", e-cookies (and a leak quote!) for you!**

**R&R?**


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